117

I went to they gym last Tuesday and I weighed myself after my workout.
The scale told me I was 119.
I went to the gym everyday after that for at least an hour each time.
By the end of the week I was running for an hour and hitting 5-5.5 miles.
After Saturday's workout before I headed home I weighed myself again.

117!

The scale said 117!
Ok it may have had something to do with the fact that on Tuesday I was on my *COUGH*period*COUGH* and by Saturday I wasn't on it anymore so I had probably lost 2 lbs of water weight.
BUT
I don't give a rats!
It feels effing (yes, effing!) wonderful to be back in the gym again and SEE progression on the scale and more importantly FEEL progression in my body.
I FEEL stronger.
I FEEL healthier.
I FEEL good.

and I literally am LOVING it!

Goals

I've never been big on resolutions. I actually don't think I even really made any specific ones for this year. I do get excited for a new year and new possibilities but I've just never thought it important to write down specific things I want to change or improve on. BUT towards the end of last summer I did make a small goal list (I think mostly I did it cuz I was bored and had an abundance of craft supplies in my room) out of colorful construction paper and I pinned it up under my calendar and two little temple pictures, right next to my bed. I saw it everyday and every once in a while read it just cuz it was there. After reviewing my goals from then to now I think I am officially a "goal-list" person because everything I wrote down had happened! And it feels damn good to know that the things I'd expected of myself, I'd got done.

Graduate from WCC with my associates in liberal arts. - DONE.

Get into BYU-H to do elementary education. - DONE.

Pay 100% tithing. - DONE.

Read scriptures. - DONE.

Pray Pray Pray. - DONE.

The last two I count as being done, but not finished! Also I mean it obviously wasn't an everyday thing because life gets crazy and I forget BUT it was definitely increased from what I had been doing before, which sadly was next to nothing. The outcome of these two goals being increased in my life though has been gaining a greater testimony and increasing my spirituality. So since it almost new years I've decided to write up some more GOALS...not resolutions...idk I just don't like that word. Hopefully I can make another colorful goal list and hang it in my room as a reminder since it worked so well last time! So here it is:

- Finish school! (I'm on that freaking 10 year plan and I'm not giving up)

- Save money. Do more SALE shopping. 

- Read Scriptures.

- Pray! Pray! Pray!!

- Bare my testimony (I have NEVER bore my testimony in fast and testimony meeting EVER. I get so nervous and chicken out every time. not this year....maybe this sunday since it will be the 1st! yikes!)

- Wear and buy more color. I have so many black, gray, white, tan, and MORE black clothes. It's time to introduce color back into my life.

- Get involved in more service big or small.

- RUN more.....like A LOT more.

- Embrace change.

That's all for now. I'll leave space on my goal list so I can add onto it as I go along through life! 2011 was a great year for me...honestly I think I deserved it because the past 2 years before that I was pretty miserable and not in a good place. At the end of 2010 I was so happy it was ending and was determined to make 2011 better than 2010 and I definitely did. 2011 was all about getting back on track for me. 2012 I think will be about change. I've never been good with changes, I HATE IT. BUT as long as I've been alive for I've come to the realization that THINGS CHANGE whether we want them to or not so this next year I am going to try to embrace change more instead of dread it, try to see it in a positive light, and roll right with it instead of being afraid of it. I am so excited to see what 2012 has in store for me! Happy New Years everyone :)

living a faithless life

I have had an epiphany.

I have come to the realization that I have been living a somewhat faithless life.

I have been alive for 26+ years.

For those 26+ years I have always been afraid of change. afraid of moving on. afraid of trying something new or unfamiliar. afraid that other people do it better and compare myself. afraid of what other people think of me. afraid of attempting something I'd wanted to do, but stopped myself from trying it because I'd talked myself into believing I wouldn't be able to do it. 

All that above can be summed up in one word: FEAR.

This fear has kept me in a very comfortable yet somewhat unproductive lifestyle. I do not dream big. I do not have super ambitions or much motivation. I am a floater....or as my dad would put it, a "freeloader". I live a good life, but I haven't really done anything to earn this lifestyle or even be deserving of it. This fear has kept me in my comfort zone. I don't try anything (even if it's something I want to do) if it seems to hard because I'm afraid of failure or I just think I physically am not capable of doing it. So instead of moving forward or moving anywhere in any direction I always just end up in the same spot because I don't move at all.

The faithless life I talk about isn't about doubting my religion, I KNOW that it is true. I'm grateful to have been born into it and to have had good parents to teach it to me. The faithlessness I talk about I guess stems more from my lack of putting trust in the Lord. I have only realized in the past couple of months that I have not been living with faith, because if I had then I would not be living with this fear instead.

So What this quote says is exactly what I intend to do. If my faith is bigger than my fear and I trust that the Lord is guiding me and on my side rooting for me then of course I can do it. I can't believe that it has taken me this long to realize this!!!! This is a major "DUH!" moment in my life, and I'm sure many of you out there are saying "DUH!" to this post as well....but as my dad has also said "Jenn is a late bloomer." So sorry if these somewhat basic gospel principles have been lost on me because I've been doing things MY way instead of seeing the BIGGER picture and trusting the Lord's way. There are some specific things in my life that I feel I've been made to do, but I haven't even attempted to do them because of my "fear". I've always wanted to reach that final destination, but how could I if I'm not even taking the first step and putting my thoughts into actions?? Or in other words demonstrating my faith..

This quote also hit me hard. I think a lot of the reason I haven't acted on my thoughts is because the very thought of them is scary and hard. I know that finishing school will be hard, but it doesn't mean it's impossible FOR ME, which was exactly what I had thought the past 5 or 6 years. I have potential to be something great...someONE great. I just have to act on my thoughts and take that first step in any direction and let the Lord lead me from there. My Heavenly Father knows my potential and believes in me so who am I to doubt Him? I have to stop doubting myself and Him and put my faith in Him and let things happen the way He has intended for me. Am I a total retard for not realizing this earlier in life?...I wish I had...but I can't change that I can only change what happens from here on out! Here's to optimism, greater faith, and trusting!

Serenity now!...WOOSAAAAA.

School

is

ANNOYING.

why must i go back? :(

Returned with honor!

My little brother, Reed, comes home today!!!! He's spent the last two years in Australia serving the Lord and spreading the good TRUE word. The time has literally flown by and I can't believe he'll be back so soon....like an hour and 10 minutes soon! Even though he's the baby in the family he's probably the most mature out of all of us. He's so smart and not just school smart (he's been known to get those 4.0s) but he's like smart with the decisions he makes. And he's so humble and faithful..if you know him..then you know what I'm talking about. He's a good example to everyone...even his OLDER siblings. :)  Time to go get him! Hope your day is as good as mine! ...but it probably isnt. :)

he's actually a really big nerd.

Gratitude Journal :)

A couple weeks ago I was in California. Here's some proof..

Hollywood sign was pretty neat-O to hike to.

Me and the sissy at Venice beach...was a crappy day but we got some cool shells and I was happy to feel the ocean and sand in my toes again.

While I was in California my mom called me one night. She was at home alone, bored, and apparently going through some old things in her room. She came upon a "gratitude" journal she had started waaaaaay back in 1998. The intention of her gratitude journal was to just list 5 things that she's grateful for daily. Being the mom that I've always known I wasn't surprised what the very first thing on her very first list was, she told me as she was laughing, "5 healthy, though sometimes quarrelsome children." It made me laugh too, we were some crazy children...and I think we still are! 

I know I'm starting a few days late but this being the month of Thanksgiving I've decided to begin my own gratitude journal and list daily 5 things I'm personally grateful for. I'll start it on here, but most likely will end up writing most days of it down in my actual journal since I'm not an everyday blogger! So here goes....

1. AJ and his patient love for me....he's always so nice to me even when I'm not nice to him. :/

2. CLOTHES.

3. My niece...she brings me so many smiles.

4. The way the earth looks during fall.

5. Socks.....it's been a cold day.

So there's my very first "gratefuls"! What's yours? :)

A decision must be reached.

I graduated with my Associates in Liberal Arts from Windward Community College this past May. And since life is about progression I obviously have to keep it moving. So for winter semester (this coming Jan.) I applied for BYU-Provo and BYU-Hawaii thinking I would surely get rejected from one, thus making my choice easy because I would have no choice but to go to the one I got accepted to.

AND THEN..

I got accepted to both. I would be all like YIPPEE!...if I was good at making decisions, but I AM NOT. Still a decision must be reached...and SOON...like end of this week soon. I am currently weighing the pros and cons but still hate having to choose.

sorry no pictures....i'm boring today :)

The zombies are coming!

This is what I looked like last Saturday.

me. Bridgette. Mele. Sarah.

And this is where we went.

The second annual night of the running dead 5k

It was such a fun thing to do. It was a 5k race to raise money for the Huntsman Cancer Foundation. It's called The Night Of The Running Dead and when you registered for the race you registered as either a "human" or a "zombie" then when the race started the humans were given a 2 min head start so that it appeared as if zombies were chasing after the humans. It was super fun to see all the people dressed up and all the different ages that got into it. I would totally do this again. It's a good way to have fun while exercising as well!

we went to ask this girl to take a picture with us...but quickly discovered this she was a he :) lol so fun!

This guy was really into his character. Sticking to his raspy creepy voice and everything...I would have been scared of him had I not also been one of his kind.

The finish line. On the top it says "The End Is Here" 

I had so much fun being dead I think I want to do it again just for fun....I mean while it is still October! 

After the race they had water, oranges, and bananas.

Scarah and me :)

By the way being "dead" while driving to and from the race (held at the Utah State fairgrounds) was so much fun too. We scared people along our way and it was funny to see them laughing at us. Except I think we for real scared some little kids in cars...opps! 

Driving and listening to Britney Spears lol

My sisters make up was most scary I think. She looks like a psycho freak. 

Well everyone hope you're all having a spooktacular October and if you see a zombie coming your way you better RUN!

Top Secret Tuesdays

Last weekend AJ told me not to plan anything on Tuesday because he had a surprise for me and that we were going on a super red hot date. So Tuesday came yesterday and I was kind of curious, but didn't really have any super high expectations...I really thought we were just doing the usual dinner and a movie routine just on a weekday instead of the weekend (not that there's anything wrong with that routine because I actually really enjoy eating and love movies, so that's an automatic good time, every time). About the time I decide to go upstairs and start getting ready I hear someone upstairs. I assumed it was my sister, but when I got to the bottom of the stairs I saw a sneaky guy walking out of my room. He then handed me an orange paper with the words "Hint #1" written on the front of it. Well "Hint #1" lead me to 4 other hints and this little scavenger hunt ended with a little love letter and some money to spend on whatever I felt like spoiling myself with just because he felt like giving it to me. I was smiling like a dork just after reading the letter. Then there was another couple papers folded up with it and I didn't know what it was and thought maybe he wrote two letters or something. So I opened it up and it's tickets to the ZIGGY MARLEY show at the Depot!!! I flew myself downstairs and jumped on him to give him the very deserved hug and kisses. He told me he had more hints to hide and stuff, but that I caught him too soon so he got his bag and pulled out two things: deodorant and nail polish remover. Weird right? haha not to me! Just that weekend before as we were driving home one night I said out loud that I needed those two things. I didn't even realize that he had mentally acknowledged it. What a thoughtful guy right?! He told me we were gonna go to Gateway mall and go shopping, have dinner, then go to the concert.

The HINTS. 1 led me to the front porch. 2 led me to the toilet (lol nevermind) 3. led me to my pillow and 4. led me to my dresser drawer and the letter, tickets, and money. :)

We headed to the mall and the whole way there I was feeling so excited. I told him how surprised I was. Who knew he had that in him! haha not me! LOL At the mall he said whatever I wanted was mine...............WHAT?! K really I felt bad about letting him buy me things because I know I don't need them, but he practically made me. Even things I wanted, but wanted to put back he took from me and just bought them. I felt so spoiled and special and undeserving all at the same time. It was the first time anyones ever done anything like that for me. Sooo shopping! First stop was Urban Outfitters. Second stop was Forever21. Last stop was Express.

Urban Outfitters. I tried this dress on and I loved it! This is the only thing I got from there because I thought everything in there was too expensive and I hate spending that much on clothes.

At Forever21 I thought this dress was cute, I tried it on with tights and just really liked it. I also got a grandma looking sweater that's a little bit ugly, but that's my style lol.

In Express we got this cardigan in grey AND tan, another sweater, and a cute flowy tank top. 

I have to say I felt really bad about spending AJ's money like that. I mean duh I'm a girl and don't all girls love to go shopping? But I feel bad about it when it's not my money I'm blowing and when I feel like that money could be used for something better or more important. Most the time I was walking around with an unsure worried face like I was doing something I shouldn't. I kept asking him like "are you suuuure you want to spend your money on me?" and at one point he even said "I thought you'd be happier..." He just kept telling me to get whatever I wanted and not worry. I think he was kind of disappointed that I didn't want to just go wild and blow all his doe. I was happy though and I've never had anyone do anything like this for me before. I just felt so special. He put so much plan and thought into it from the cute little scavenger hunt and the heartfelt letter all the way to the concert. I loved every single minute of everything we did together.

After shopping it was off to dinner at the Olive Garden. YUM. OG never disappoints.

My super red hott date :)

As I was telling the waiter I wanted water AJ puts his hand up to stop me and says "Can I get two waters and a vanilla italian soda for the lady? Thank you." LOL after the waiter walked away he turns to me excitedly smiling and says "I always wanted to do that....and I just did it!" hahahahaha man what a dork.  He freaking cracks me up! 

Then off to see Ziggy! I love reggae/island music. It NEVER gets old, for real that is why I like it. Pop and rap and all that trendy crap is cool to listen to for a little while, but then it gets played out and I get sick of hearing it...it gets OLD. Reggae never does and that's why I love it. You can listen to the same reggae music you listened to 10 years ago and it's STILL good. But needless to say the concert was the shiz. That was my first time seeing Ziggy Marley live and he was so good! I didn't get any pictures cuz I hate trying to get good pictures at concerts and wasting time worrying about taking pictures instead of just enjoying the music. So me and Aj just danced the whole time and took a picture after :).  But WHOA to all the pot heads burning right there in the crowd the whole time. It smelled like straight weed the whole night lol. Security at the Depot needs to get that under control for all us non stoners out there.

After the concert.

The stage.

FORWARD TO LOVE. ZIGGY MARLEY. AJ even bought me a tshirt after the concert! Don't worry bout my hash looking face either k...its 2:30am and i'm an insomniac! lol

On the way home I was buzzing off the good vibes and reliving the whole night in my head and thinking about how so so SO lucky I am to have someone like AJ as my boyfriend. It made me think about how that whole thing with the fall of adam and how if you never knew evil you'd never know good. Same with not knowing true happiness without sadness. And I think in a lot of people's lives it takes having a really (excuse my language) shitty relationship to realize what a really good one is like. And I've had my fair share of dating losers....just look at the past two years of my life wasted on the biggest A-hole. I can honestly say AJ treats me the best I've ever been treated. He makes me happy al the time not just some of the time. I don't have to search to find the goodness in him, and I'm not the only one who sees it. On the way home I told AJ that I wouldn't even want to look at dating anyone else because he's so good to me so there would be no point. And it has nothing to do with how much he spends on me. Really this is the first time he's ever done anything big like this and it felt a little too extravagant for me...I'm sure his bank account will take a nice looooong while to recover from this date night before we can even think about doing this again. I would have been happy if our red hot date night ended up being a frozen pizza and a redbox, but I'm grateful and very appreciative of my thoughtful caring hot loving boyfriend who planned such an awesome spontaneous random date for no reason at all except that he loves me....and I LOVE HIM!

Short story, long.....

I came into my room to read my scriptures (Richard G. Scotts talk from saturday morning conference first session just made me want to lose myself in the scriptures, I seriously need to make reading/searching/pondering the scriptures more of a priority in my life and not just a thing I do before I go to sleep at night...but more on conference later). Conveniently my laptop just happened to be sitting on my bed. Heres my thought process:
- If you open that laptop you ARE NOT going to even touch your scriptures.
- uhhhhgghmmmm yes I will. I'll just check my facebook REAL FAST and then be done and get on with the reading.
- Pssshhhh yeahOK.
- no really this time I'll just check it fast kine.
- Ok............................
annnnnnd an hour later after checking facebook, playing bejewled, and reading everyones blogs...here I am...my scriptures still on the floor and me still on my stupid laptop. BUT I am still going to read my scriptures after this. I HAVE TO. So I will.

Short story about myself and......

THIS GUY, my father :) Taken 2/28/93 my birthday and baptism day.

...so I've been living in Utah for 4 1/2 months already and only last month decided to clean my room. Gross right? ahh whatever when I moved to Hawaii 5 years ago somehow my Utah room became the leftovers room for everybody. Literally my mom got rid of my dresser and put like left over storage crap in my room. She has a whole corner devoted to her craft things. My sisters decided they needed an overflow closet and it was full of extra tops, dresses, and jackets/coats. Ridiculous. So when I moved back in I kind of didn't really feel motivated to clean THEIR things and make room for all of mine. Since I had no dresser a lot of my clothes ended up in folded piles.....on the freaking floor. RIDICULOUS. haha Anyways since I have a super awesome boyfriend he noticed my need for a dresser and last month he got me one. So as I cleaned to make room for it and moved some things around I went through a drawer in my room. It was full of old cards..birthday cards, valentines cards, christmas cards, etc. So I started going through them to decide which ones I should keep for sentimental value and which ones could be thrown out. I started to notice that A LOT of them were from my dad :) I don't think he ever missed a birthday even if they were late.

*short story within my short story that's actually starting to seem not that short: for those of you that don't know I was born in Hawaii. We lived there until I was nine then my parents decided together that we should move to Utah  so that me and my siblings could all get a better education...hawaii's public school education is less than stellar. My dad owns a landscaping business in Hawaii and the plan was for him to sell it and be with us in Utah. Well work was always so busy and he never sold his business so he would just go back and forth between work (hawaii) and family (utah). It was a HUGE sacrifice on his part, but he did it for us and it really says a lot about him and his love for his family. And that is just how we grew up. With my mom raising us and my dad working in hawaii and being with us when he could, it was normal to us but to other people it was hard to understand. Everyone would always think my parents were divorced or something because my mom lived here in utah with/raising us kids and my dad lived in hawaii, working. But no my mom and dad are and always have been happily married. In fact just this year they celebrated their 30th anniversary. They are both great examples of selfless love to myself. Only now that I'm older do I realize how abnormal that living situation was...I can't imagine being my mom or dad and being apart from their other half for extended periods of time. It must have gotten lonely at times. Man, my parents are amazing! But this story explains why I always got birthday cards from my dad on my birthday...because he was usually in Hawaii and not physically there. Now back to my long short story....

Anyways I started reading through all the cards my dad sent me and well....I'm just going to let the cards speak for themselves, heres some excerpts from his cards:

" 2-23-99 8:30AM" (yes he wrote the date AND time lol)
"I can't believe that you are 14 yrs old. I miss your birthday but remember that I think of you and the rest of the family everyday. Got to go now work is calling me. I love you. Stay well and you be good."

"Jenny I am sorry that this card comes in late. I am also sorry for not being home for your birthday. You are now 15 years old? Time sure goes so fast. Anyways I want you to know that I think about you and the rest of the (our) family everyday. As you know how I stuck here in Hawaii with my work. I would love to someday soon be able to work in Utah and be with all of you. I miss being with my family. Here is a few $$ for your birthday. Jen always remember to travel on the straight and narrow and follow the church teachings, mom and dad's teaching and keep the Lord's commandments. I love you, Dad."

*MY PERSONAL FAVORITE*
"Jenny, I am sorry again that I am not home for your birthday. Anyways here is a few $$, go buy yourself a present. It is a gift of God that we are well and grow. It seems like only yesterday that you were this cute big eye curly hair baby that I and mother brought home from the hosp. Now you are 16 and it is hard to believe. Where have all the years gone? Even though you're 16 here are some of the things that you can't do.
1. Cannot date
2. Cannot drive
3. Cannot have freedom to do any undesirable things.
Please seek to do the things that is desirable to the Lord. Like stay in the straight and narrow path and keep the Lord's commandments. Give thanks to the lord for your being well now that you're 16 and pretty as ever. Read Proverbs 3:5-6. Promise me that you'll read this scripture, ok? Happy b-day. Love Dad."
My dad thinks he's pretty funny...but I'm pretty sure his list was all serious haha. But Proverbs 3:5-6 reads "5-Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6-In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."

This is a valentines card-
"Jen always remember my advise and counseling or preaching- Stay home sometimes do not go and hang out all the times- It is safer at home. Work hard at school. Pray, read scriptures everyday and obey- do not go to sleep after school."
(apparently I had a problem of coming home from school and sleeping for a few hours and then staying up all night. My mom always tried to wake me up cuz she hated when I would stay up all night and not get sleep for school. It wasn't my fault though....it was just a normal teenage circadian rhythm, look it up...I learned THAT in school.)

"2/27/03
Jenn, I know this will get to you after your birthday. Late is better than never. However this doesn't mean I love you any less. I want you to know that I am proud of you. You've been a good daughter despite the fact that I refer to you sometimes as the lazy one. I want you to know that I love you as you are. We have had our differences but it is so because I care about you and the rest of my children. You have grown up so fast I can't believe it. You are about to graduate from high school and go on to college. It is all a blessing. Stay in the straight and narrow and you'll be blessed. Happy Birthday. Love Dad."

One Christmas card that I must have kept because it makes me laugh-
"Jen, Despite our differences when it comes to boys. I want you to know that I still love you. Love always, Dad."
HAHAHA right?

My mom and dad helping set up for my sisters wedding.

Anyways I am soooooo eternally grateful for the family I have and for the parents I was born to. They are just the greatest examples of hard work and sacrifice to me. They have shown me what love is and what it means to show love for your family. I have the hardest working dad ever. He has given up so much for his family I can't even begin to imagine the half of it. Although he wasn't physically there a lot of the time he has always made sure to keep us in line. I love that in almost all his cards he constantly reminds me to stay in the "straight and narrow" and "follow the Lord's commandments". I think it's pretty apparent through these cards that my dad did his best to teach us the Gospel through word and through example. He has always been a good example of giving thanks for what we have be it a little or be it a lot. He has always told us to be grateful for what we have and has constantly reminded us that what we have is from the Lord and to give our thanks to him. He has been a great example of relying on the lord even when times were hard for him. I admire my fathers strength. He is the strongest man in the world to me and I love him so much. I hope the man I someday marry is as great an example to our children as my dad has been to me.

In Hawaii. Missing my older brother.

My dad, me, and grandpa (moms side) in Florida at a miami heat vs. jazz game.

Whining cuz I can

I am feeling BLAH. Once a month I really hate being a girl...if you catch my drift. There are some negative feelings I need to get off my chest. In no particular order, here I go..

When I think about Hawaii my heart hurts. Simply put, I MISS IT. I miss: sunny days and warm nights. The ocean. The salty smell in the air. Driving from Laie to Kaneohe with all it's beautiful scenery to distract my mind. Finding sand in my purse. WORKING. My old job and everyone who worked with me. Putting costumes in color coordinated order. My friends. The food. The culture. Seeing my favorite temple on the daily. Riding my bike around.  Nice friendly smiley people that say "hi" to me when they don't even know me. Angels ice cream smoothies. The radio stations, especially 103.7. Going to 711 for saimin, chips, and an energy drink. Hearing PCC drums/cheering/noise from wherever I am in Laie. Random dinners at the fire station with my valentine for life. Good reggae concerts almost every weekend. Sleeping at my dads house. Flowers in my ear and the smell of tiares. The rain. Foodland. Brown people. Drivers that see my blinker and actually let me in. Being under water. Running in the CAC. Going to town whenever to do whatever. I even miss the stupid chickens. And ok I know missing things isn't necessarily a negative thing, but it is in this case because I miss these things so much that it actually makes me really sad. Makes me kind of hate utah a little bit. Makes me not want to try here and just go back.

I know I came here to change, but it's so hard and I really hate change. It's hard for me to move forward when I'm so fond of the past. And here I just feel like I don't have many friends and I'm too shy to know how to make any. I wish I was outgoing and comfortable enough to just open up to anybody, but no I'm weird I feel anxious and awkward and don't know what to say and feel stupid. Of course I have my sisters and AJ, but still I miss having friends to just go do something with and I really miss working! It's so weird, but it's true...i miss it! Maybe I just need a job to occupy my time. But I don't know where I'd want to work...I'd just compare it to my last job that I loved. ugh.

I applied for school for next semester. I just want to finish already. I'm sick of dragging it out. I feel like I should have been done a long time ago. I kind of feel like I'm always trying to play catch up with everyone else.

I just kind of feel confused about a lot of things. I want to do something with my life. I mean doesn't everybody? Isn't that what we were put her to do? There's something I'm meant to do..........ugh! i kind of hate feeling like this. I know this feeling will go away and that I sound whiny and annoying...but this is my blog and how I'm feeling right now so get over it. I probably just need sleep and an attitude change.

All I can say is general conference couldn't come at a better time. I need some serious guidance and comfort for the soul. Can't wait to hear the words of God.

P.S.

I'm grateful for my home teachers who visited tuesday night and reminded me of the story of the guy who was talking to another man who asked him about the church. And the guy explained to the man that we have modern day prophets who speak with and receive revelation from God and that the prophets then share twice a year during our conferences those revelations. Then the man asked him what did the prophet say in the last conference. And the guy couldn't really remember or explain anything. He didn't know what to say. So the man says to him something along the lines of "you mean to tell me God speaks to men today and you don't even know what he's said?" I'd feel awful if I was that guy. It was such a good reminder to me to pay attention and to listen tentatively during conference because what is being shared is coming straight from God, yes it's that important.

Meet Mr. Doitnow...

So this is what happens when AJ is at my house using my laptop and I'm obviously not giving him enough attention...

hey, i'm aj doitnow. and i do things now and not later. fav color white and grey. like to joke around and laugh. i like to sit outside my window and look out for shooting stars, also stargazing. if i am doing something i love, i'm in it to win it. i like to eat junk food, pasta, chinese and horse, giddy up yumyum. love sports and being active. i'm easily entertained and can chilll and do nothing all day. 

Yes he wrote this and I didn't even notice until the next day when I opened my laptop. What a weirdo right? LOL Sounds like a freaking personal add or something. haha ilovehim :)

rain rain go away..

so that I can do something like this......

It's Friday and both my sisters are home from work. My AJ is at work. Melissa's husband, Teki, is on his way to Aspen, Colorado for a rugby tournament. And I'm trying to figure out something for all 4 (including little Miss Lusi) of us to do before Mele can make plans with her friends. lol. But thanks to the stupid weather now our options are limited and the only things we can think of to do are things outside softball game? rodeo?...in the rain..yeah not happening. I like to do things outside because they are usually FREE. oh well....maybe tomorrow.

It is time for bed

I want to blog a long rant about nothing extraordinary, but if I don't go to bed now I will be a complete grump tomorrow. And being a grump while taking care of this......

this picture is from June. she has MUCH MORE chub and rolls now, but her face in this pic always makes me smile!

...just doesn't make for a good day for her. She needs a happy well rested aunty who can give her full attention and loves. Seriously don't you just wanna squeeze and pinch all over her?! So off to bed I go! Goodnighty night friends!

date night a month ago

This blog makes it embarrassingly apparent that I am a procrastinator. Me and Mr. BF had a date night (it's a pretty regular thing) 3 plus weeks ago and I remember taking pictures and thinking to myself that I was going to blog about every detail of our date. So here I am finally getting around to blogging about it and I can only hope I even still remember all the details.

Since moving away from Hawaii (insert triple sad frowny face with a tear HERE) I have been missing all my favorite food places in a real bad way! One of those places being Haleiwa Eats. I LOVE thai green curry. So we decided to try this thai restaurant in riverton (i think). It looked kind of fancy, the menu was huge, and we definitely got a lot of bang for our buck because the portions were generous. BUT ( <---notice it's a big but) taste-wise, it wasn't quite satisfying. Despite that dinner was great. We chatted (it's been too long so I can't remember what we talked about) but I know we had a good time. This guy can make me laugh all the time! That's one of the things I love about him. Since day one he's been able to make me smile even when I don't want to. He's downright goofy sometimes and humor is definitely on my list of "gotta haves" in a guy. Anyways we ate till we were full then we left the restaurant headed for the movies to see if there was anything we wanted to watch.

Pad thai, lettuce wraps, green curry w/shrimp, rice, salad w/yummy dressing

:)

Mango sticky rice....I've had better. But I guess this meal was good enough to hold me over till I can actually find a good thai place.

From my fortune cookie. I sure hope so!

His. I had been calling him a werewolf the whole night so this was weird. Does anyone else notice how shiny and clean his nails are? haha

We got to the movies and decided to watch Crazy Stupid Love (see how bad I am at blogging and how bad my memory sucks? I just had to text AJ to remind me what movie we watched...sheesh alzheimers already). We bought our tickets and had about ten minutes until the movie started.

The shopping center we were in, in Draper, had a Sweet Tooth Fairy store just a few stores away. So I BEGGED the BF to take me to get JUST ONE cupcake to SHARE with me. One, because I was already stuffed from dinner and been trying to watch what I eat, but really who can resist a moist yummy sugary tasty cupcake? And share, because I didn't want to feel like a total fatty eating a ball of fat by myself....although by all means, I do definitely know how to do that. LOL no shame. So even though he didn't want a cupcake he took me over there because in his words, "It's your night baby." Seriously what girl wouldn't be happy with a guy who does anything he can to make her happy? This is how he makes me feel. :) Anyways we walked over there and their store is so cute and dainty definitely a girly feel. We decided on the toasted coconut cupcake. It was delish. If you've never had a treat from the sweet tooth fairy....you definitely need to have yourself a little visit. I promise you will not be disappointed!...and if you are...more cupcakes for me! ha.

The cupcake display. Normally it's much fuller, but we came in ten minutes to closing. They have so many different flavors!

The wall says, "You are what you EAT, so eat something CUTE."

He ALWAYS opens door for me :)

We got back to our movie just in time the previews ended and our movie started. It was a good movie. We thought it was funny and we both liked it. Although at one point it started to feel like a long movie. And I'm not sure if that's because the movie was actually long or if it was because we were watching a late movie. Either way we enjoyed it.

At the movies. And yes he's wearing colored contacts. He ran out and had to borrow from his cousin who only had colored ones. If not for her contacts it was either wear glasses or be blind LOL.

After the movie while driving home Keisha Cole - Love came on the radio. And in the delirious hour (after midnight) we both took turns belting out the tune and then came together for the chorus. We were laughing so hard because neither of us are professional singers, if you know what I mean. It was just fun, being goofy together and not being afraid or embarrassed in front of each other.

Scary much? lol see the werewolf? But this is the guy who makes me :)

It wasn't a super amazing creative date or anything, but it was one of those dates where you just feel so relaxed, so comfortable, so YOURSELF. Where you don't do anything out of the ordinary, but you feel your bond grew just a little closer. My official ruling on this is date night success!

why yes, of course..

I would love for there to be poop on my arm this morning.

My sister, Melissa, went back to work last month after taking her maternity leave and having her first baby, Lusi. I kind of became nanny by default and now watch my squishy little chunkalunka niece every Wed. - Sat. from the mornings until about 4 o'clock in the afternoon.

She is quite a handful. She usually throws up after eating whether she's been burped or not. She already threw up all over the wood floor this morning as I was carrying her, and as it was making its way to the floor of course it covered her leg and me on its way down. Her pooping schedule, now that isn't so predictable. So after she threw up I put her in her bumbo on the counter so I could get a drink of water. She already pooped earlier this morning so I thought she wouldn't go again for a while.......i was wrong. Girl threw on her poop face (full concentration like a blank stare and she becomes completely silent) and moments later I heard her farting. So i pick her up to change her and felt wetness on my arm. THANK YOU LUSI...just what i wanted (insert sarcasm here). Seems like she's always leaking out of her diapers lately. GROSS.

Anyways I'm glad it was just a smear and not something more like this....

This is no random picture I found on the internet. These are my mothers feet!

Lusi had a surprise for grandma.

The culprit looking ever so innocent and unaffected by the situation.

Happy Wednesday everybody, hope you don't have a CRAPPY day!

I'm alive...

..and I'm posting a blog to prove it. Here we go....

It is 3 am Utah time. I feel tired but I feel like a zombie stuck on the internet. I should go to sleep, I WANT to go to sleep but sometimes it's so hard to just close my laptop (no, I'm not an addict!....ok maybe I am). So after over a month of bloggers hiatus I decided it's finally time to blab about something and what better time than now huh?

I am such a slacker and there is so much that has happened that I can't write about it all, so I'll just write about whatever pops into my head now and that is most current. .......and of course what pops into my head first is....

FOOD! Lol first off I love cafe rio. It never gets old especially since Hawaii doesn't have any cafe rios and when I lived there I always wanted it. Now that I'm in Utah I take full advantage! Thank you cafe rio for feeding my mexican food cravings whenever they pop up. Second I really need to get a little more self control when it comes to eating. Seriously some days (and by some I mean most) I don't eat anything real. I just snack snack snack and eat junk all day long. This past week my problemo has been FRIED food. French fries (thank you fast food), keke (thank you samoan flag day), and fried oreos (thank you fat bf who was craving these) are not doing my body any kind of good! With that being said, my go-to snacks as of late have been hot cheetos, jalapeno cheetos, cheeto fries...so basically any chip of the hot cheetos category. Yes, I love anything spicy.

Ok now that I got my fat girl thoughts out I can move on. So I know that July is over and done with, BUT if I had blogged in July it would have probably had something to do with my two beautiful sisters. Why? Well because when I think about July my sisters come to mind since they both celebrate their birthdays during that hot summer month! My older sister Melissa had her birthday on the 10th, her birthday happened to fall on a Sunday. So that evening after we had all been to church and done our normal Sunday routines we celebrated with ice cream cake and presents!

Melissa with her 28 crazy candles!

My younger sister Mele had her birthday on the 22nd. It was a Friday and she had planned out with her friends a big birthday get together at the Texas Road House. Seriously, we had almost a whole section all to ourselves. After dinner we came back to our house and had ice cream cake and presents for her. Then her and her friends went out to the club for some dancing, but myself being old and boring didn't feel like going. So I'll never know how much fun they had, but I'm sure me and my pillow had just as much fun snoring (no I don't actually snore) the night away!

Mele with baby Lusi helping her blow out her 25 candles!

Well this blog turned out different than what I thought it'd be when I started. Started off kind of random and thought it was gonna stay that way, but then it kind of turned more into being about my sisters! I have the best sisters in the world, no lie. We can be crazy, loud and straight obnoxious, but I wouldn't trade them for the anything! We have so much fun together and we all have the same stupid sense of humor and crack up at the dumbest things that only we think is funny. God is such a thoughtful man and I'm sure glad he gave me the family I've got! Anyways I love my sisters to the moon and back. Life wouldn't be the same without them!

Love em!