'Cause my momma taught me betta than that..

I think it is extremely rude to make plans with your friends in front of someone you don't intend on including or even extending a courtesy invite to. It can make a person who may already feel like an outsider even more excluded. It's not nice. It's just plain bad manners. Who raised you?

Maybe if I wasn't already feeling all types of hormonal from stopping, cold turkey, breast feeding then I wouldn't be feeling extra sensitive about this. Maybe it wouldn't make me feel bad about myself and I'd be able to brush it off because I'd just know that they are real friends who hang all the time and I'm just kind of a friend they see once in a while. Maybe I wouldn't still be bothered about it today. But you know what? I would probably still think it rude.

Because it is.

Anyways, hormones. My hormones are determined to make me look like a crazy person. It's like sabotage from the inside out. This article is me right now, especially the motherhood and biology part. I would just add to the biology part: all the changes and hormone surges a women goes through with pregnancy, birth, breast feeding, weening. I've probably had 100 different personalities the past 2 years because of this. Right now I'm currently going between raging-psycho-Bword-who-wants-to-blow-up-in-your-face-and-cause-you-physical-pain and I'm-sad-and-lonely-and-anything-emotional-will-make-me-cry.

I just kind of feel sad. And it doesn't help when a group of friends talk about how they are going to have so much fun hanging out together being friends while I awkwardly sit there listening trying to look pleasant and not let my face show how I really felt, which was out of place.

Oh well. Here's this.

Me too son, me too. 

ARRGGHHHH!

I think it's safe to say Ray hates Utah. We have been here for 3 weeks and he's basically been sick the whole time. First he had a fever for a few days. Then he got really congested and couldn't stop coughing. That was finally just barely starting to go away and then last night he throws up. Then he throws up two more times today......ON ME. Not to mention his skin is literally being sucked dry. His cheeks started turning so pink and chapped. I started putting nipple cream on it to try to keep it from drying out. UTAH SUCKS. It's now 12:30 in the afternoon and I just finished scrubbing out puke from blankets and clothes and throwing them in the washing machine and finally showering off the vomit from my skin. This also all happened while AJ was at the gym and Meliss had to take Lusi to dance class so it was just me, Ray, Bear and Mele who was sleeping since she had worked a grave. I had to wake her up to watch Ray in the bath while I cleaned vomit off the floor and the couch and then Bear made a huge doodoo and I had to change his diaper. I was dying. Stupid Utah and it's dry air and germs making my baby sick. One more week then it's back to Hawaii.

Don't get me wrong I've been having a blast and can actually finally see us moving here me not hating it 100%, but today just really effing sucks.

Ice cream is inspirational to blogging.

Mint ice cream is meant to be GREEN. I firmly believe that. Mint ice cream that is white? What is that? You sir are an imposter and I will not eat you! GREEN mint ice cream, you are a classic. You are a comfort. You do not even need a label I can just look at you and know you, and that is why you need to be GREEN, not white. I know you and I want you. And you, you are my favorite. One of my fondest memories that brings me happiness. And that is why you are meant to be GREEN. You stand out and I immediately see you and recognize you, you are an old friend.

childhood flashback

There was (and still is) a Daves Ice Cream shop across from my elementary school. One wonderful sunny day after school we got to go get ice cream. Is there no greater treat to a child than an ice cream cone?? After we all get our cones we exit the store. We walk out of the ice cream shop and wait at the corner to cross the street. I am 100% happy with my GREEN mint ice cream cone, my favorite flavor, just waiting at the corner, just standing there. I had barely started eating it. What happened next is the most devastating thing that could happen to a child eating an ice cream cone. Yes, my green glob filled with delicious chocolate chips plummeted to the ground and landed with a great plop onto the hot concrete. I was left holding an empty cone. 

The End.

Obviously that was such a tragic event that it burned clearly into my memory and still makes me sad today. But you know what makes me happy? GREEN mint ice cream. And now I can go buy my own whenever I want. I have some in my freezer. It will probably be devoured by the days end, and none of it will end up on the ground. It will all end up in my tummy......and then eventually my butt and thighs...but who cares about that?! I am made out of ice cream, GREEN mint ice cream.!! What are you made out of?

We love ice cream. Clearly, we do.

hiiiii-yah!

I started to try and spruce up this place...(and by started I mean I just deleted the picture that used to be up in the header, then I got distracted by looking at a million pictures trying to pick out a new one, and ended up not choosing one at all and so that explains why this page all of suddens look more drab)...but now it's almost 11:30 at night and I'm getting tired. But I have something I need to get off my chest because I know exactly what's waiting for me when I go upstairs to bed...

I love my husband, I really do. Sometimes I just look at him and my heart just swells with this overflowing of love that I feel for him. He left me for a week to go to Utah to attend his cousins funeral. He got back last Thursday. I missed him while he was gone, I REALLY did, especially when baby was cranky and I just wanted a few minutes to myself but couldn't have any because there was no one else to take over. That week apart made me really grateful to be married to such a good man who loves his family endlessly. He does so much for me and our little Ray. I love being married to such a giving and caring man who has an eternal perspective of me and our family. BUT then there's sometimes, like today, when he gets mad at me cuz he's hangry and I had just asked him if he wanted me to make him something to eat, but instead of saying yes he wants to complain to me like it's my fault there was no food in the house and no car to go get anything. And then he the non stop snoring all night long that wakes me AND baby up....so I have to "remind" (more like punch him till he wakes up) him to roll over onto his side like 3 times a night. It's times like that when I just wanna karate chop him in his throat.

But like I said I love my husband. I'll take the good with the bad and roll with the punches.......to his chest till he wakes up and rolls over so he stops snoring.

I love him and he drives me crazy.