1.2.3.4.5.

Reasons why I love my husband:

1. He does the dishes. (seriously I haven't done the dishes once since we've lived in tva...I don't like touching gross dishes/sponges and I NEED a dishwasher. According to the husband I'm "spoiled". But he knew that when he married me).

2. He makes me laugh...A LOT. Sometimes he's actually funny and sometimes he's not. And I love that sometimes when we're fighting he can say one thing and I can go from angry to laughing in a split second.

3. He's so caring and shows it. He likes to take care of me. He makes me lunch when I have long days at work. One day about a week ago I was expecting to work at least 11 hours (I worked 12) and he made me lunch to take to work. It consisted of a pb&j sandwich, a pb&honey sandwich, some cheese and cracker snacks, some pretzels, fruit snacks, water, and a love note :)

4. He's a movie junkie, just like me. We have movie marathons on his laptop all the time since we don't own a tv. And he's really good at memorizing movie lines and then wittily busting them out at the appropriate moments....which takes us back to #2, because it usually makes me laugh.

5. And the most obvious reason..........

hubbahubba

I mean just look at him. HOTTIE. haha :)

Anyways those are just a few reasons why I love my husband....there are many more.

Woe is me

One more year of school. I can do it? Can I do it? I can do it. Sometimes I want to give up so bad and just be done, and I feel so stupid. Then I think of A LOT of stupid people who have graduated before me......and it makes me feel even stupider. But I know I'm not stupid and if people who are for real kine stupid can graduate from college....then so can I. And I will.....in ONE. MORE. YEAR. I just have to stick it out, it's just so hard for me because I really hate school. At least when I finish no one can say I wasn't persistent. When I finish next December I will have officially completed my 10 year plan. hahahahaha hey everyone goes at their own pace ok!

I guess I've just had school on my mind a lot since I've spent the past week doing finals and projects and trying not to go brain dead. I finished my last final of the semester today and I'm glad everything about this semester is over. Now I can relax and work my winter break away because like any struggling college couple it's needless to say that we are broke.

To end things on a bright note.. here's to having a capable brain for thinking and a healthy body that can do work!

Weekend recap

I like my life. We've had a perfectly relaxing weekend spent at my parents house in Pearl City. It feels so much more homey than our little TVA apartment, plus my brother and sister live here too...and more family is ALWAYS better. We decided Friday afternoon to spend the weekend here since my brother does side jobs on Saturdays and asked AJ if he wanted to work with him. We jump at the chance to make any extra money because being poor is no fun.

So Friday night we came to Pearl City and ended up going to late movie with my mom and sister, Mele. We watched Skyfall, the new James Bond movie. I've never been interested in the 007 movies so I've never watched one.....surprisingly I LOVED it. My mom picked the movie, it was a 10:15 movie, and the movie was well over 2 hours. Mele and AJ both fell asleep during it, but I was so into it that I stayed up the whole time, even though I was very tired. If you wanna see a good action packed movie then Skyfall is the one.

Saturday AJ got up early and went off to work with Randy. They literally worked all day long. I think they did something like 3 jobs then met up with my dad to finish one more. Landscaping is hard work so maybe AJ didn't have as such a relaxing weekend as I did, but I truly do appreciate all the hard work he does for us. He's really good at just going to work and not complaining about it, he is just the greatest, and I love him to no end. I on the other hand had a lazy morning around the house. Me and Mele went to the mall, checked out savers, and went to walmart. Then came home and hung out with my mom. But, while we were at the mall we totally saw this kid getting arrested for shoplifting I'm sure, we were confused at first because the guy putting handcuffs on him was wearing normal clothes. Then I realized he was an undercover. I know they do that sometimes, have undercover people planted on the floor checking out what's going on and sometimes following people, catching them in the act. Anyways the kid was a teenager and I was like "ooooo that sucks," then I just thought "Man some poor parents Saturday is just about to get ruined.." and I felt bad for them without even knowing them. It's weird how getting older changes the way you think and view things. When I was that age theres no way I would think about "poor parents" and how they might be disappointed or how they would be affected by their sons actions. I guess wisdom really does come with age.

Anyways Saturday night after the MEN (haha) came home from work we went out to a family dinner. We were going to go to Shokudo, but uhhhh they were closed?? Idk why, but trust me, we were disappointed. So we instead when to this Japanese buffet in Ala Moana. I filled myself with crab legs and poke, and finished it with shave ice. It was great.

Isn't he a babe? I love this guy. 

Got to sit across from this hottie ;)

The whole gang!

sneak attack picture. My brother, my honey, and my dad.

Today we went to church with my parents, my old home ward when I was little. They had a Primary program for sacrament meeting. It was so cute and a few times during the kids singing primary songs I had to hold back my tears. It's so heart warming to see children being raised in the gospel and learning of Jesus and Heavenly Father. They were so cute and I enjoyed it.

And now it's time for a nap.....8:00am church does that to you.

but why do I feel so muh-lon-co-lee

Ever seen Megamind? It's awesome. I'm 27 and I love cartoon movies still, I think I always will.

Melancholy....yes I feel very Muh-lon-co-lee. haha Me and AJ both miss Utah. I think I might miss it a little bit more than him at this specific moment. I feel more and more like a shut in. I hate not having a car around because it makes me feel stuck. We are literally stuck in Laie and I feel like there's nothing to do. So we go to the library and aj watches netflix on his laptop while I read my homework, I go to work and school. Then we just sit in our house and watch netflix or hulu together.............pretty boring. I don't know why I'm feeling this way right now but I don't feel like leaving my apartment tonight..........I think I'll take a nap.

roommate from hell

I wear new kine panties. I got married to a man I love unconditionally. Moved me and the husband to a tropical island in the middle of the sea. Yup, all that happened. And yup, I totally mean to blog it all out someday...but for today all I could think about sharing was a story from my 1st year of college at BYU-Provo.

I was less than happy about going to school at BYU. I had no close friends going to school there. I was still immature and wanting to have fun and be young. My parents filled out my application and basically packed me up and dropped me off at my dorm. Since I had no friends there I had a random roommate assigned to me. I honestly don't even remember her name (blame my bad memory), I want to say it was Ashely. Hmmm, I'm to lazy to look that up so for the sake of this post we'll just refer to her as Ashley for the rest of it whether that's her real name or not.

The day I moved in and we met each other she was nice enough. I'm shy, I always have been. So I don't open up to just anyone or quickly at all, ESPECIALLY when I'm not in a familiar environment. I was courteous, but not outgoing. The first or second morning (I swear it was the first) I woke up to SOBS and I open my eyes and my roommate is crying her eyes out and punching her bed and pillows. IT. WAS. AWKWARD. I'm not one to console people...and that's how I feel generally. I don't feel comfortable doing that with people I'm close to so of course I feel especially awkward to have to do it for someone I just met. Well I guess her grandpa had passed or was really sick and she was just really upset about it. I asked her if she was ok and didn't really know what else to do. Not that showing her emotions outwardly like that is bad, but remember I was young and immature and probably a tad insensitive, so that's when I decided she was weird.

I still tried hard to get along with her. She was nice. She had a boyfriend who she was kind of really attached to. But I was just kind of an introverted person and even though a lot of people immediately became best friends with their new random roommate, I was uncomfortable with the thought. I felt like it was being forced just like how my parents had forced me to go to school there. I didn't feel an immediate connection. And I think that was something Ashley wanted and kind of expected. She would want to walk together or go eat together, but I just didn't feel like we were real friends. Is that rude? It's just that I don't feel like true friendships are or have to be forced and to be honest I didn't feel like we had that much in common and I kind of felt annoyed by her at times. But I always tried to just be nice and not be mean or rude.

Around Thanksgiving time she basically invited herself to my house for the break since she was from Florida and didn't have family. I guess I might have invited her to come stay the weekend, but I'll never know because she really did invite herself. That to me was nervy and rude and I was irritated by it. I also felt like she did that because her boyfriend was staying up in that area for the break, closer to salt lake and she wanted to be closer to him. So while she was staying with me she really started to irritate me. And I'll admit that that was my fault, I was immature, selfish and rude and I should have been more understanding to her situation. She was far away from home and family and it was the holiday season, she was probably lonely. But I couldn't stand it anymore, I started to kind of give her the cold shoulder and she felt it. I think she tried to approach me a couple times to ask if everything was ok and I was just very passive about it all, saying I was fine but inside I was very annoyed and then I would continue to ice her.

We went back to Provo, back to school and after a little while we just didn't really communicate as much anymore. No more forcing friendship. I was fine with it. But sometimes I felt like she would be looking at me like she wanted to say something, but wouldn't. Once she even confronted me and tried to get me to like say what was wrong, which I denied anything about it.

Then one day my RA said that Ashley wanted to move out because she wasn't happy or whatever. I didn't really give a rats because that meant I had a room all to myself and didn't have to worry about forcing myself to try to converse or be friends with someone who I just didn't really get along with. So bye bye Ashley and Hello room to myself.

BUT THEN...

a little bit after Ashley moved out one the the girls who lived a couple doors over told me the REAL reason she moved out.
......she read my journal.......
Something about Ashley you should know is she is a speed reader. So she could have easily read my pathetic journal in less than an hour while I was out at class. Which of course since I was being passive to Ashley's face I had been venting to my journal all the things that irritated me about her. And some of the things I didn't even mean, they were just things I said because I was annoyed and I say things I don't mean when I'm upset. I distinctly remember calling her fat and ugly and annoying, which probably hurt her even more because she wasn't the smallest girl if ya know what I mean. And there were also some personal things about myself in there (DUH it's MY journal) that she decided to spread around to other people as well. After I was told that she had read my journal it all made sense. She must have read it around the time she started ignoring me. It made sense how she confronted me that one time and was trying to get me to say things about how I really felt, because she already knew how I felt because she had read my journal already. I was pissssssed. I wanted to beat her up. But I didn't. I just couldn't believe that she or anyone would do that. I didn't feel bad about the things she read either because they weren't for her eyes in the first place. She never should have read them and if she got her feelings hurt by it, it was her own fault. I was shocked. I felt violated. I couldn't decide if I felt bad about the things I'd written or if I'd felt even more justified for writing them.

Looking back I do feel sorry and I wish I had acted a different way. Maybe we could have been friends, but I guess I'm glad we weren't because I like having friends who trust me enough not to read my journal if they feel like I'm holding something back. I do realize though that when it comes to living with me I'm not the easiest. It's been rough to live with my true friends at times because I can be anal and moody and particular. Even living with AJ is a big adjustment and it's not easy.

Point of my story.....MIND YO OWN BUSINESS.

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Found this.....

and it's just a reminder to myself to, "DON'T WORRY (about all the wedding things I still have on my to-do list, and the things..or people..I can't change. The fact that I feel like I'm not getting enough sleep or exercise and am breaking out and might possibly be the ugliest bride ever. Plus the fact that I'm moving back to Hawaii in 2 weeks and feel totally unprepared to move a lot of shiz and am having anxiety about school. And the fact that my whole world is about to change with two little words--> i do. annnd we all know how I feel about change, but I think I can handle with a little faith. and all the other blah blah blah going on in my head), BE HAPPY"

So this is me telling myself to "Shut the hell up. Everything is not that serious so don't worry, be happy" I will try my hardest to take my own advice. haaaa. goodfreakingnight.

Nap time.

It's Thursday afternoon and i just woke up from a nap. My niece was napping in her crib, but she cried 3 times. The third time I finally went and got her. I really think she can't sleep because her room is so hot. Her head gets all sweaty and it's gross. So I picked her up and she was acting tired still so I brought her to my room and laid her on the part of the bed where the air from the vent flows best. She knocked back out. But me.... I'm just enjoying the sound of her little breathing and the short time I still have left to spend with her.

Marriage in a week and two days. Hawaii in two weeks exactly! Geez time is flying!

Here's some sweaty nap head goodness.

update quickie + a million photos

It's starting to hit me that the BIG day is in a little over 2 weeks. AHHHH!! The pressure is on. I've proven to be the worst bride that ever was and I've learned some things about myself. If I could go back and do it all over again I would change a lot. Aside from wedding plans, dramas, and stress (that I think resulted in bringing my monthly visitor 2 weeks early...and that NEVER happens) the rest of life is good.

I'm excited to have a new adventure of moving to Hawaii with AJ. It's going to be so different than living there before I think. So strange, the word husband, and to have my own....
Even though I'm excited to be moving I'm going to miss Utah a lot. I'm going to definitely miss my sisters and little family here. Lusi! I love my niece so much it's going to make me cry not to see her everyday, I'm sure. I have so much love for that little ball of energy and smiles it's going to be tough not to get hugs from her everyday. I'm still learning to love change, but it's still a challenge for me. I'm going to miss my friends too and the fun things we do... anyways just some things on my mind. Totally at random with no captions needed here's what some of my summer has looked like...

Have a wonderful Thursday!

I get annoyed easily but I know what's important

These things irritate me:

-annoying people who are drama queens and thrive on creating drama for free.

-making decisions that will have a huge impact on future life.

-annoying people who can't give it up already and just be real.

-laying in bed at 3:00 in the morning because my mind is going.

-dirty people who can't find a garbage can that's a foot away from them.

-feeling tension in day to day life.

-trying to log into my school email and getting denied and not being able to figure out what's wrong. login? password? idk, but tried everything till I got locked out.

-having so many things going on that I can't remember what is when or what day it is or even all the things I need to do....I make list's then I lose them.
-not feeling prepared for wedding day...like physically..don't know what I want my face or hair to look like and my freaking bridals are next week! better decide QUICK.

-having to bite my tongue, or not even having the opportunity to express how I feel.

All things opposite of irritation:

love and eternity

this sweet thang, today I taught her to say "hi"

The gospel, seriously I look forward to Sundays and thoroughly enjoy ALL 3 hours.

These 2 fools and all they do for me.

Thee woman who lets me be a baby and listens to my blubbering crying/venting about all things irritating.

Life is moving along. Constantly reminding myself to remember to breathe and try to stay positive. ONE MORE MONTH TO GO. 

I hate..

When you get so pissed you cry. This day needs to hurry up and be over before my head explodes.

what's been on my mind lately

The world is kind of a sad place when you think about it. Sometimes I just think about it all and I feel weighed down by all the bad that happens. Lately I've been kind of obsessed with watching The First 48. I think I've started to like it better than fake tv crime shows because it's real life. It makes it more interesting, but it also makes me a little depressed. People calculating and executing a robbery only to get less than 100 bucks. Killing each other over drugs. Seeing how little people will kill another person for makes my insides twist and I'll admit it's brought me to tears. Senseless acts committed with no regard for human life or the value of a soul. Even watching the news is sometimes shocking and depressing. Hearing what some people are capable of doing to others sometimes leaves me feeling hopeless. Violent robberies. Abducting, sexually assaulting and killing a 6 year old girl. What is wrong with people? Maybe I should just stop watching the news and The First 48 because I'm obviously too emotional and easily depressed. But it just makes me think about life and about the things I'm doing and what I could do to make this world a better place. So maybe it's not such a bad thing.

Don't judge me, but I'm kind of a nerd in that I like to watch documentaries on netflix more than anything else (mostly because pretty much netflix sucks) and I watched this documentary called The Human Experience and it's about these 2 brothers that put themselves into different situations and try to experience life how it would be for a person in a different situation than themselves. The first one they did for about a week was living as homeless people in NYC. In one part they have this homeless lady talking and she shares and experience when she was sitting in the street and there were some dogs that were homeless or whatever just on the street and some people were all concerned about the dogs needing to be taken in and getting them off the streets and slowly one by one people offered to take the dogs home, while this lady was just sitting there homeless on the street obviously in need of probably food/shelter/love also. That's great for the dogs, but since when did the world become a place where a dog life is more valuable or important than human life?

See this should say "human" instead of "dog", not against saving dogs, but I just feel like we should help out our own species first.

And she continues to say something to the effect that aren't we all here to help our "brothers and sisters"...and really aren't we? I started to cry when she said that, because it's true, and I know I should start doing more for my brothers and sisters that are sharing this journey of life, in this fallen world. I don't even know where to start because I am just one person, but I've started with small things by trying to change the way I think and not to be mean or judgmental even just in my head and just trying to be more friendly to everyone I come in contact with. It's crazy these days, if we had people like the animal rights activists and environmentalists care for human life like they did for animals or the land maybe this world would be a little more happy and right. Anyways even though I get a little depressed watching these shows or learning of horrible things people have done, I know as long as there are good people in this world and people who believe in the atoning sacrifice our BROTHER Jesus Christ made, we aren't hopeless. I know there's a talk about having hope in this world when it's filled with news of the bad, I don't remember what it's called or who gave it, but maybe I should go search for it of lds.org. Anyways there's my 2 cents.

be kind. be kind. be kind.

PS. does anyone know how to "unfollow" people on here anymore?? I am retarded and feel like the button disappeared or is hiding from me...? please tell me I'm not the only lost one here.

not a want, but a need.

I need to give back more. I need to do more for others.

..because the world could use more and you can never get/give enough.

Boredom bred inspiration. Found the cardboard in my garage and decided to make a vision board centered around love...it's still in progress, but I'm determined to finish because I could use the constant visual reminder.

extra extra read all about it!

I had this moment in the dressing room yesterday at TJ Maxx. And not to go all "that moment when.." on you, BUT, that moment when you're trying on clothes in the dressing room and you think to yourself "Self, that shirt is way to young for you, you look like an old person trying to pass off teenagers' clothes." Then I took the shirt off and thought about how old I am. I'm not saying I'm going to start shopping in the old lady "Womens" section of shopping stores, but I will definitely be paying attention to what I'm shopping for more. I feel old.

In other news the wedding......the wedding. sigh. lol. let's just say it's happening one way or another. haha. I'm laughing because I'm THE WORST wedding planner ever. I can't make any decisions, I take no initiative in making things happen, so much so, that I haven't even picked a photographer yet even though I had a ton of recommends on facebook. I need to get on that for real though, because I gotta get engagements taken SOON. so soon.

I got a job for the summer. My best friend from high school, Laurie (whom I love to death!), helped get me hired because her husbands dad owns the place. I always wanna laugh when I tell someone this because it's the last place I thought I'd ever work, but I work at a tanning salon. LOL. It's funny because if you know me then you know that I don't even like to be tan. I feel like it makes me look dirty. Idk I'm weird. But really, when I go to the beach I slather on the sunscreen, I'll try to wear a hat or something to block my face, or if I'm laying out I'll throw a shirt or towel over my face. Anyways I actually really have enjoyed working there so far. The girls that work there are all nice and it's a pretty good job for me for the summer because it's part time and is just a little something extra for me to occupy my time with since AJ works 24/7 it feels like.

And the BIG NEWS of the month of May, I saved the best for last:
AJ got his melchezidek priesthood! WOOHOOO!! (I hope I spelled that right)
But really today he got ordained and even though it was in tongan and I couldn't understand I was so happy for him and knew that he was being blessed with the power of the priesthood. I'm so proud of him for nagging our (sorry to say, but it's true sometimes) unorganized bishopric/stake leaders. I love that about him. He knew what was right and what he had to do and he just stuck with reminding our bishop about it and meeting with them all the time to talk with them and keep them updated on his worthiness. I'm so happy that he's taking steps to be a better man for himself. Something that the stake leader said in the meeting that stuck out to me was that if the world really understood what was happening any time someone was ordained to hold the priesthood that it would probably be in the news and on fronts of newspapers. When he put it like that it really kind of put in perspective how important and special it is to be a member of our church and to be amongst worthy priesthood holders. He said even us as members kind of take it for granted because it happens so often, but that it really is very special and an important step. I am so proud of him and happy/grateful for him.

bob loblaw, the end.

This is happening.

This week has been filled with wedding thoughts and plans...and it's only Tuesday night. It's been a  productive weekend and start of the week though. Last Friday my YOUNGER sister, Mele, graduated from Utah State with her masters in social work. I am so proud of her for always staying in and working hard at her schooling. I envy her brains. We celebrated the occasion with a feast afterwards at Tucanos at Gateway mall in SLC. It was delicious and a good day filled with family love.

Needless to say, she smelled yummy.

Family is everything.

Aunties and Cousins supporting Mele. Also the lovely ladies responsible for all the leis!

He keeps me smiling.

Saturday me and Aj and our parents got together for lunch at Rodizio Grill, so they could meet for the first time and discuss some wedding things. It was a nice lunch and it was nice to hear both of our parents voice their happiness over our decision to be married...for time and all eternity. I'm so blessed to have the parents I have and to be marrying into another family who has parents as loving as my own.

Monday we found the venue for our reception. We were lucky enough to call in the day of and be informed that the 25th of august was open, so we scheduled an appointment to check it out the same day. I already had seen the pics online and knew I would love it. My mom, Melissa, Aj and me all went to This is the Place Heritage Park and we all liked it. So we booked it, just like that! The only place we actually physically looked at and I knew we didn't need to look anywhere else. Plus the lady told us we were pretty lucky cuz it was the only saturday in August that hadn't been booked yet. We just knew it was meant to be.

inside.

This is the Place!...literally this is the place where Brigham Young said, "This is the place."

Today I went in to get my dress fitted. We are finally feeling like things are starting to fall into place and like we can really start knocking things off our wedding "to-do" list. With every passing day I'm getting more and more excited about this whole marriage business :)

And I threw this pic in obviously because I just adore my niece. This is what she does when you ask her where her belly is. So dang cute!