Wash your face Wednesday

Just took my second shower of the day.....and it was ice cold and felt wonderful. Hawaii, you are HOT. Holy cow I was walking to Laie Elementary school today (for one of my classes I have to go there once a week and help out a teacher) and I about melted into the pavement on my way there.

Just to let you all know one of my "things" is I HATE having a shiny face. Some people like that "dewy" "glowing" look....I just think it looks dirty. Like, "giiiiirrrrl wipe ur face off you got a major greasey face case going on!" And with only being here for almost 2 weeks and coming from the driest place on earth my skin seems to be tweaking out with the adjustment. The humidity and the heat is getting to me and I am soooooo sick of looking in the mirror and seeing SHINE on my nose and my t-zone. I just feel like I have to wash my face and scrub it every time I see it, but I know that's not healthy so I just try to rinse it off or wipe it down with a paper towel/napkin/toilet paper/anything with soaking up power (I heard starbucks napkins are great for this BONUS they're free!). I guess it's time to invest in those clean and clear oil absorbing sheets again...I didn't really ever have use for them in Utah. In Utah it's all about trying to keep my face moisturized lol.

This is what I feel like I look like except I know I don't...but don't you just wanna tell her to go wash her face??

Anyways that's my one complaint for the day and it's really not a big deal so life is still good!

ps.....you probably don't care but I really reeeaaalllly REEEEEAAAALLLLLLYYYY cry baby kine miss my boyfriend. I get to see him in Vegas next month though....that's pretty much where our relationship started almost exactly a year ago! Butterflies all over again and I just can't wait! :o)

Last year in Vegas at the Rugby 7's. So ready to do it again!

changes, goals revisited, traveling woes, and a thursday baby love giggle!

I am headed back to Hawaii!!!! I am sitting at the airport in Seattle. Thanks to my dear mother who made my plane ticket I have 2 layovers both about 3 1/2 hours................. BUT it was either fly ALL day today or leave yesterday. And I think the one extra day with my family and Aj was well worth an 18 hour travel day today. So no complaints here, besides thank goodness its 2012 and we can FLY somewhere in less than a day instead of having weeks of traveling by boat, horse, foot, ect... I'm grateful for technology. With that said...can someone PLEASE invent teleportation. Thanks.

Today was a rushed and sad morning. I went to bed at 4am, got up at 6am, showered, finished packing, and made sure I had everything. I said goodbye to my brothers, sisters, niece, and aj.. almost cried, but no tears..YET. Aj dropped me off at the airport. He came inside with me and helped carry my bags and the security line was a biznatch...seriously it was the longest I've ever seen it and he even waited in line with me all the way up to the front which took almost half an hour. I thought I was gonna miss my flight!....I only half wished I actually had lol.

I'm sad because I was just getting comfortable in Utah, but because one of my goals is to embrace change and overcome my fear of it, I am trying very hard not to let the sadness take over and miss everyone too much. So I'm excited to be going back to Hawaii and to get busy and back to work with school, but I'm gonna miss everyone back in Utah a lot! So to try to put the positive spin on it I'll talk about what I LIKE about this change. I LIKE that I get to go back to warmth and the beach and beautiful Hawaii. I LIKE that I have friends there that are excited to see me, so I know I won't be lonely. I LIKE that I will be able to run outside there. I LIKE that I'm gonna be busy with school. I LIKE that I'm going back to work at a place I enjoy working. I LIKE that my dad and mom are usually just about an hour away in pearl city so I can just go on over whenever I get home sick for family. I LIKE that I am pushing myself to do more with my life and trying things out of my comfort zone. I LOVE that I know me and Aj are going to be just fine through all of this. There I already feel better :)

Isn't it illegal or whatever to have a lighter on an airplane?? cuz I totally forgot I had a lighter in my purse and I went through security with it and they didn't eeeven catch it. Pretty much I'm at terrorist status right now. OOPS!


Oh! In attempt to do good on my goals I tried to inspire myself to add more color to my life by doing bright neon pink on my toes when I went with my sisters to get pedicures the other day (if you know me i HATE pink), I don't completely hate it. Also I went to Ross yesterday and was going to buy something bright....but then bought a gray and black pencil skirt instead...FAIL. but point is, I'm trying.

Anyways heres few more goals to add that I forgot to put down in my goals post:

- Watch less tv. Holy cow I've never been addicted to so many tv shows in my life as I am now! I blame my sister, Melissa, for knowing all the shows and watching them and getting me hooked...and I also blame the DVR for being so convenient, recording the shows and letting me watch them whenever I wanted. Can I just point out how ridiculous reality tv shows are? I'm watching people living their lives while I'm living mines on the couch....and I feel as if all of them aren't even reality cuz they're all FAKE. So I need to go out and live my life more instead of watching fake celebrities living theirs on crap tv shows. Idk they are just so addicting!...i love the kardashians...its such a guilty pleasure! SO YES LESS TV! 

- Fast at least once a month. I was talking with my bishop this past Sunday and he advised me and Aj both that we should both be fasting once or twice a month. Twice is a little ambitious for me since I'm not a good faster so my goal is at least fast for real on fast Sunday every month this year. My bishop said it will teach us to master ourselves and I honestly believe I NEED that.

Ok I just went to the bathroom and what is with people who can't figure out how to FLUSH a toilet??....seriously you just push the handle...or step on it with your foot like I do. Annoying.

- "You don't have to say it if you're already doing it." Does anyone else watch the Office? Well I love that show and one episode there's this annoying guy who knocks on someone's door and every time he hits the door he says "knock, knock, knock" and the guy says back to him, "You don't have to say it if you're already doing it." Which made me think about this girl who had a talk or testimony or something in church I can't remember where, but she said she was from a small town and there weren't many LDS where she was from and after high school she went to church somewhere and saw a boy from her high school and she went to say hi and he goes, "I didn't know you were Mormon." and because she came from a small place she figured everyone just knew she was LDS, but then she realized apparently to this guy she had grown up with, she had never done anything to SHOW that she was LDS. So I want to try to be able to SHOW that I'm LDS without having to say it. This means I have to watch my swears (my mom says I have a potty mouth), watch what I wear (i LIVE in tank tops), time to test out this "modest is hottest", and overall try to live my life so that people can SEE my standards...."You don't have to say it if you're already doing it"..i just love that!

Don't you hate it when someone comes and sits RIGHT NEXT to you (yes even one seat over is RIGHT NEXT to me haha) when there's like a million other places to sit. I feel like she's invaded MY space and now I have to smell her stink fast food..

Now to go kill another hour on facebook and pinterest until my flight starts to board! lol....another goal less fb....but I'm banking on school taking care of that by keeping me so busy that I won't want to get on fb..........yeeeeeah right! haha

One more traveling woe even though I'm not there yet I know I'm going to get irritated already when it happens so I might as well write it down..Don't you think it's just the most annoying and obvious thing in the whole entire world when at bag claim and you're waiting for the bags to even start coming out, but all these idiots think they have to be RIGHT at the edge of the bag claim BLOCKING everyone else from being able to get their bags? I always pick an open spot then stand a few feet back so that I can walk up when my bag comes around and then walk away. BUT it never fails that some IDIOT comes and stands RIGHT IN FRONT of me. It makes me so mad! But I always try to hit them with my bag when it comes around......they deserve to get hit for being stupid and oblivious to everyone else, blocking the conveyor belt, and being in the way.

For a Thursday Giggle:

She woke up wit the nappiest hair this morning...it was sticking straight up!

Go ahead and laugh! I miss my little Goose! 

117

I went to they gym last Tuesday and I weighed myself after my workout.
The scale told me I was 119.
I went to the gym everyday after that for at least an hour each time.
By the end of the week I was running for an hour and hitting 5-5.5 miles.
After Saturday's workout before I headed home I weighed myself again.

117!

The scale said 117!
Ok it may have had something to do with the fact that on Tuesday I was on my *COUGH*period*COUGH* and by Saturday I wasn't on it anymore so I had probably lost 2 lbs of water weight.
BUT
I don't give a rats!
It feels effing (yes, effing!) wonderful to be back in the gym again and SEE progression on the scale and more importantly FEEL progression in my body.
I FEEL stronger.
I FEEL healthier.
I FEEL good.

and I literally am LOVING it!

Goals

I've never been big on resolutions. I actually don't think I even really made any specific ones for this year. I do get excited for a new year and new possibilities but I've just never thought it important to write down specific things I want to change or improve on. BUT towards the end of last summer I did make a small goal list (I think mostly I did it cuz I was bored and had an abundance of craft supplies in my room) out of colorful construction paper and I pinned it up under my calendar and two little temple pictures, right next to my bed. I saw it everyday and every once in a while read it just cuz it was there. After reviewing my goals from then to now I think I am officially a "goal-list" person because everything I wrote down had happened! And it feels damn good to know that the things I'd expected of myself, I'd got done.

Graduate from WCC with my associates in liberal arts. - DONE.

Get into BYU-H to do elementary education. - DONE.

Pay 100% tithing. - DONE.

Read scriptures. - DONE.

Pray Pray Pray. - DONE.

The last two I count as being done, but not finished! Also I mean it obviously wasn't an everyday thing because life gets crazy and I forget BUT it was definitely increased from what I had been doing before, which sadly was next to nothing. The outcome of these two goals being increased in my life though has been gaining a greater testimony and increasing my spirituality. So since it almost new years I've decided to write up some more GOALS...not resolutions...idk I just don't like that word. Hopefully I can make another colorful goal list and hang it in my room as a reminder since it worked so well last time! So here it is:

- Finish school! (I'm on that freaking 10 year plan and I'm not giving up)

- Save money. Do more SALE shopping. 

- Read Scriptures.

- Pray! Pray! Pray!!

- Bare my testimony (I have NEVER bore my testimony in fast and testimony meeting EVER. I get so nervous and chicken out every time. not this year....maybe this sunday since it will be the 1st! yikes!)

- Wear and buy more color. I have so many black, gray, white, tan, and MORE black clothes. It's time to introduce color back into my life.

- Get involved in more service big or small.

- RUN more.....like A LOT more.

- Embrace change.

That's all for now. I'll leave space on my goal list so I can add onto it as I go along through life! 2011 was a great year for me...honestly I think I deserved it because the past 2 years before that I was pretty miserable and not in a good place. At the end of 2010 I was so happy it was ending and was determined to make 2011 better than 2010 and I definitely did. 2011 was all about getting back on track for me. 2012 I think will be about change. I've never been good with changes, I HATE IT. BUT as long as I've been alive for I've come to the realization that THINGS CHANGE whether we want them to or not so this next year I am going to try to embrace change more instead of dread it, try to see it in a positive light, and roll right with it instead of being afraid of it. I am so excited to see what 2012 has in store for me! Happy New Years everyone :)

living a faithless life

I have had an epiphany.

I have come to the realization that I have been living a somewhat faithless life.

I have been alive for 26+ years.

For those 26+ years I have always been afraid of change. afraid of moving on. afraid of trying something new or unfamiliar. afraid that other people do it better and compare myself. afraid of what other people think of me. afraid of attempting something I'd wanted to do, but stopped myself from trying it because I'd talked myself into believing I wouldn't be able to do it. 

All that above can be summed up in one word: FEAR.

This fear has kept me in a very comfortable yet somewhat unproductive lifestyle. I do not dream big. I do not have super ambitions or much motivation. I am a floater....or as my dad would put it, a "freeloader". I live a good life, but I haven't really done anything to earn this lifestyle or even be deserving of it. This fear has kept me in my comfort zone. I don't try anything (even if it's something I want to do) if it seems to hard because I'm afraid of failure or I just think I physically am not capable of doing it. So instead of moving forward or moving anywhere in any direction I always just end up in the same spot because I don't move at all.

The faithless life I talk about isn't about doubting my religion, I KNOW that it is true. I'm grateful to have been born into it and to have had good parents to teach it to me. The faithlessness I talk about I guess stems more from my lack of putting trust in the Lord. I have only realized in the past couple of months that I have not been living with faith, because if I had then I would not be living with this fear instead.

So What this quote says is exactly what I intend to do. If my faith is bigger than my fear and I trust that the Lord is guiding me and on my side rooting for me then of course I can do it. I can't believe that it has taken me this long to realize this!!!! This is a major "DUH!" moment in my life, and I'm sure many of you out there are saying "DUH!" to this post as well....but as my dad has also said "Jenn is a late bloomer." So sorry if these somewhat basic gospel principles have been lost on me because I've been doing things MY way instead of seeing the BIGGER picture and trusting the Lord's way. There are some specific things in my life that I feel I've been made to do, but I haven't even attempted to do them because of my "fear". I've always wanted to reach that final destination, but how could I if I'm not even taking the first step and putting my thoughts into actions?? Or in other words demonstrating my faith..

This quote also hit me hard. I think a lot of the reason I haven't acted on my thoughts is because the very thought of them is scary and hard. I know that finishing school will be hard, but it doesn't mean it's impossible FOR ME, which was exactly what I had thought the past 5 or 6 years. I have potential to be something great...someONE great. I just have to act on my thoughts and take that first step in any direction and let the Lord lead me from there. My Heavenly Father knows my potential and believes in me so who am I to doubt Him? I have to stop doubting myself and Him and put my faith in Him and let things happen the way He has intended for me. Am I a total retard for not realizing this earlier in life?...I wish I had...but I can't change that I can only change what happens from here on out! Here's to optimism, greater faith, and trusting!