Im alone...but Im not alone.

Sooooo basically was feeling down the past few days and decided for once to make a good decision for myself and turn to the one source that should be the most obvious one...but is usually the one I don't choose. So I read my scriptures and found more calm in them then I remember them giving. I said my prayers and felt more relief during them than I usually get. And I read a card and book that a lovely friend gave me a long time ago, that I decided back then I didn't need to read...and in it I found eye opening knowledge and strength. ...and then I didn't want to be in my house anymore. So I went on a walk all around Laie. I was thinking what a dork I was for walking by myself and put my hood on and looked so hard at the ground whenever bright headlights came my way. THEN!!...Then I remembered something I read in a book that the same lovely friend let me borrow a while ago...I remembered that it said you're never alone..and if you let him..the lord will be your companion..will share his love..(I wish I had the book so I could quote it right now..but I'm not at home so I'll fix this later.) And if you have that, what else do you need? And soooooo as I remembered this I didn't feel so alone as I had 1 minute before...So I scooted over nearer to the edge of the sidewalk to make room for Jesus..to walk right next to me and I know he was there.

Mixed.

In the words of Kimie "you make me crazy you drive me wild....you take my feelings and you mix them around.." and that's how I would describe my mood right now. I am so affected by someone else I can't figure out how I'm feeling. I'm no longer willing to compromise simply because I know what I want. I need to figure out how to communicate what exactly I mean by that. In this I am mixed..

Anyways this is my first blog on here..decided to finally join the ranks of bloggers out there. I'll try to keep it interesting, but I think mostly it will just be hard to follow, like I am. So yeah even though I said I would try to keep it interesting...that doesn't apply to this first blog. Just gonna fill you in up to this minute...I'm in Utah. Got here last Friday for my little brothers farewell. My little brother, Reed, is so big now. He goes into the MTC on Wed. He's going to be a great missionary...I can just tell. If you heard his talk this last Sunday, you'd agree with me. So I go home on Thursday and I'm excited to go back to heat...but I don't know if I want to stay. In that decision I am mixed..we'll see...