Whining cuz I can

I am feeling BLAH. Once a month I really hate being a girl...if you catch my drift. There are some negative feelings I need to get off my chest. In no particular order, here I go..

When I think about Hawaii my heart hurts. Simply put, I MISS IT. I miss: sunny days and warm nights. The ocean. The salty smell in the air. Driving from Laie to Kaneohe with all it's beautiful scenery to distract my mind. Finding sand in my purse. WORKING. My old job and everyone who worked with me. Putting costumes in color coordinated order. My friends. The food. The culture. Seeing my favorite temple on the daily. Riding my bike around.  Nice friendly smiley people that say "hi" to me when they don't even know me. Angels ice cream smoothies. The radio stations, especially 103.7. Going to 711 for saimin, chips, and an energy drink. Hearing PCC drums/cheering/noise from wherever I am in Laie. Random dinners at the fire station with my valentine for life. Good reggae concerts almost every weekend. Sleeping at my dads house. Flowers in my ear and the smell of tiares. The rain. Foodland. Brown people. Drivers that see my blinker and actually let me in. Being under water. Running in the CAC. Going to town whenever to do whatever. I even miss the stupid chickens. And ok I know missing things isn't necessarily a negative thing, but it is in this case because I miss these things so much that it actually makes me really sad. Makes me kind of hate utah a little bit. Makes me not want to try here and just go back.

I know I came here to change, but it's so hard and I really hate change. It's hard for me to move forward when I'm so fond of the past. And here I just feel like I don't have many friends and I'm too shy to know how to make any. I wish I was outgoing and comfortable enough to just open up to anybody, but no I'm weird I feel anxious and awkward and don't know what to say and feel stupid. Of course I have my sisters and AJ, but still I miss having friends to just go do something with and I really miss working! It's so weird, but it's true...i miss it! Maybe I just need a job to occupy my time. But I don't know where I'd want to work...I'd just compare it to my last job that I loved. ugh.

I applied for school for next semester. I just want to finish already. I'm sick of dragging it out. I feel like I should have been done a long time ago. I kind of feel like I'm always trying to play catch up with everyone else.

I just kind of feel confused about a lot of things. I want to do something with my life. I mean doesn't everybody? Isn't that what we were put her to do? There's something I'm meant to do..........ugh! i kind of hate feeling like this. I know this feeling will go away and that I sound whiny and annoying...but this is my blog and how I'm feeling right now so get over it. I probably just need sleep and an attitude change.

All I can say is general conference couldn't come at a better time. I need some serious guidance and comfort for the soul. Can't wait to hear the words of God.

P.S.

I'm grateful for my home teachers who visited tuesday night and reminded me of the story of the guy who was talking to another man who asked him about the church. And the guy explained to the man that we have modern day prophets who speak with and receive revelation from God and that the prophets then share twice a year during our conferences those revelations. Then the man asked him what did the prophet say in the last conference. And the guy couldn't really remember or explain anything. He didn't know what to say. So the man says to him something along the lines of "you mean to tell me God speaks to men today and you don't even know what he's said?" I'd feel awful if I was that guy. It was such a good reminder to me to pay attention and to listen tentatively during conference because what is being shared is coming straight from God, yes it's that important.

Meet Mr. Doitnow...

So this is what happens when AJ is at my house using my laptop and I'm obviously not giving him enough attention...

hey, i'm aj doitnow. and i do things now and not later. fav color white and grey. like to joke around and laugh. i like to sit outside my window and look out for shooting stars, also stargazing. if i am doing something i love, i'm in it to win it. i like to eat junk food, pasta, chinese and horse, giddy up yumyum. love sports and being active. i'm easily entertained and can chilll and do nothing all day. 

Yes he wrote this and I didn't even notice until the next day when I opened my laptop. What a weirdo right? LOL Sounds like a freaking personal add or something. haha ilovehim :)

rain rain go away..

so that I can do something like this......

It's Friday and both my sisters are home from work. My AJ is at work. Melissa's husband, Teki, is on his way to Aspen, Colorado for a rugby tournament. And I'm trying to figure out something for all 4 (including little Miss Lusi) of us to do before Mele can make plans with her friends. lol. But thanks to the stupid weather now our options are limited and the only things we can think of to do are things outside softball game? rodeo?...in the rain..yeah not happening. I like to do things outside because they are usually FREE. oh well....maybe tomorrow.

It is time for bed

I want to blog a long rant about nothing extraordinary, but if I don't go to bed now I will be a complete grump tomorrow. And being a grump while taking care of this......

this picture is from June. she has MUCH MORE chub and rolls now, but her face in this pic always makes me smile!

...just doesn't make for a good day for her. She needs a happy well rested aunty who can give her full attention and loves. Seriously don't you just wanna squeeze and pinch all over her?! So off to bed I go! Goodnighty night friends!

date night a month ago

This blog makes it embarrassingly apparent that I am a procrastinator. Me and Mr. BF had a date night (it's a pretty regular thing) 3 plus weeks ago and I remember taking pictures and thinking to myself that I was going to blog about every detail of our date. So here I am finally getting around to blogging about it and I can only hope I even still remember all the details.

Since moving away from Hawaii (insert triple sad frowny face with a tear HERE) I have been missing all my favorite food places in a real bad way! One of those places being Haleiwa Eats. I LOVE thai green curry. So we decided to try this thai restaurant in riverton (i think). It looked kind of fancy, the menu was huge, and we definitely got a lot of bang for our buck because the portions were generous. BUT ( <---notice it's a big but) taste-wise, it wasn't quite satisfying. Despite that dinner was great. We chatted (it's been too long so I can't remember what we talked about) but I know we had a good time. This guy can make me laugh all the time! That's one of the things I love about him. Since day one he's been able to make me smile even when I don't want to. He's downright goofy sometimes and humor is definitely on my list of "gotta haves" in a guy. Anyways we ate till we were full then we left the restaurant headed for the movies to see if there was anything we wanted to watch.

Pad thai, lettuce wraps, green curry w/shrimp, rice, salad w/yummy dressing

:)

Mango sticky rice....I've had better. But I guess this meal was good enough to hold me over till I can actually find a good thai place.

From my fortune cookie. I sure hope so!

His. I had been calling him a werewolf the whole night so this was weird. Does anyone else notice how shiny and clean his nails are? haha

We got to the movies and decided to watch Crazy Stupid Love (see how bad I am at blogging and how bad my memory sucks? I just had to text AJ to remind me what movie we watched...sheesh alzheimers already). We bought our tickets and had about ten minutes until the movie started.

The shopping center we were in, in Draper, had a Sweet Tooth Fairy store just a few stores away. So I BEGGED the BF to take me to get JUST ONE cupcake to SHARE with me. One, because I was already stuffed from dinner and been trying to watch what I eat, but really who can resist a moist yummy sugary tasty cupcake? And share, because I didn't want to feel like a total fatty eating a ball of fat by myself....although by all means, I do definitely know how to do that. LOL no shame. So even though he didn't want a cupcake he took me over there because in his words, "It's your night baby." Seriously what girl wouldn't be happy with a guy who does anything he can to make her happy? This is how he makes me feel. :) Anyways we walked over there and their store is so cute and dainty definitely a girly feel. We decided on the toasted coconut cupcake. It was delish. If you've never had a treat from the sweet tooth fairy....you definitely need to have yourself a little visit. I promise you will not be disappointed!...and if you are...more cupcakes for me! ha.

The cupcake display. Normally it's much fuller, but we came in ten minutes to closing. They have so many different flavors!

The wall says, "You are what you EAT, so eat something CUTE."

He ALWAYS opens door for me :)

We got back to our movie just in time the previews ended and our movie started. It was a good movie. We thought it was funny and we both liked it. Although at one point it started to feel like a long movie. And I'm not sure if that's because the movie was actually long or if it was because we were watching a late movie. Either way we enjoyed it.

At the movies. And yes he's wearing colored contacts. He ran out and had to borrow from his cousin who only had colored ones. If not for her contacts it was either wear glasses or be blind LOL.

After the movie while driving home Keisha Cole - Love came on the radio. And in the delirious hour (after midnight) we both took turns belting out the tune and then came together for the chorus. We were laughing so hard because neither of us are professional singers, if you know what I mean. It was just fun, being goofy together and not being afraid or embarrassed in front of each other.

Scary much? lol see the werewolf? But this is the guy who makes me :)

It wasn't a super amazing creative date or anything, but it was one of those dates where you just feel so relaxed, so comfortable, so YOURSELF. Where you don't do anything out of the ordinary, but you feel your bond grew just a little closer. My official ruling on this is date night success!