kinda sorta..

feeling A.D.D.

So I would absolutely love to be sleeping right now...but I've been sick all week, my body is all funky, I have a massive headache that just won't go away, and so sleep evades me. *sigh* What better way to waste time then to blog right?...thus here I am after boring myself to the extreme on facebook and watching 2 episodes of the Office, courtesy of Hulu.

Anyways despite the fact that I was feeling like a piece of crap all week AND had to take my finals one sniffly sneeze at a time, to top it off my bestie Sarah B was here for a short visit before she made her way home to Hilo for the holidays. So I had to suck it all up and be down for friend time, which wasn't hard cause I love my friends! So Sarah got here on monday and I think she brought the sunshine with her because it was the perfect beach day! Sometimes I wish life was like movies and that it had theme songs and background music blasting for any given situation....seriously that would be awesome. And if Monday had a song (and in my head it did), as soon as I opened my dark brown curtain that morning it would have started blaring Here Comes the Sun by the Beatles. I totally sang that song in my head all day, no lie.

At Sunset Beach obviously in love with the sun, sand, ocean, and foreign guy who kept pulling his shorts up as high as possible to tan his ridiculously white thighs.

So in the music world which lives only in my mind for now, the song that would have started playing when I saw Sarah would have been "Reunited and it feels sooo good.." lol in a non lesbian kind of way.

At Waimea living the life.

I'd also just like to say how much I L-O-V-E the north shore and all it's beautiful beaches! Seriously nothing compares, to me anyways. This week was full of sun, friends, laughs, and all around good times. Safe to say the good outweighed the bad by FAR!

Little Joys

Since sometimes it's hard to be happy I try to recognize joy in the little tiny things I wouldn't normally notice. Here are a few from today:

-the warm heater blasting in my car.

-millions of clothes in my room to choose from.

-bonus money to fall back on at work. $chaaaaching$

-marshmallows for my hot cocoa.

-the awesome couch my dad has on which i crashed on for a nap.

-the nap itself....ahhhheavenly.

Thanks friday you are all too kind.

FAMR230

I honestly can't remember what this pertained to or what exactly my teacher was teaching us but in my human development class yesterday my teacher asked us if we have an ex boyfriend (my class has 2 guys in it, don't worry they didn't raise their hands) I raised my hand. Then she asked us if we hated them. I raised my hand. Then she asked us if they were to pass away would we feel something. Wanting to shake my head, I nodded my head instead. Then she continued to say that even if you hate them there's always going to be something there cause in order for there to be hate there has to be love. I'm not going to lie, this made me feel hopeless. Is hate just a mask covering up love so you can trick yourself into not seeing it? Can I ever reach that point like in Eat, Pray, Love where Julia Roberts is able to send that person love and be over it? Feelings cannot be controlled, but actions can. I want to control both. Sometimes I'm pretty sure my feelings control my actions and if I'm not controlling my feelings.....then what the hell am I doing??! Scary.....

Taken last summer in Utah at Ensign Peak. Sunsets always feel so peaceful.

Anyways this semester is almost over and I'm excited, but also kind of sad because I can honestly say that for the first time ever I enjoyed all of my classes for different reasons, but still loved learning! My teachers were awesome, I learned more than I had anticipated, and found out I'm good at a science (botany is the science, totally unexpected, but I actually liked it)!! I missed one class ONE TIME! Seeing my best friends that I haven't seen in a while was worth throwing my perfect attendance out the window, so no regrets there.

twentyten

things like this happen...because I LET IT.

wow...so thats what it feels like to be accountable.

It's also kind of weird after all this time thinking I had no control, and I guess to some extent that is true, BUT realizing that I am where I am because of my own actions puts a whole different spin on it. I had control all along. And so here I am....

Holy cow can it really be December already??! Ok not to be a hater to all you out there who had a totally awesome 2010, but all I have to say to 2010 is GOOD RIDDANCE, thank you please don't come again, you may now gracefully step OUT of my life. Next year will be soooooo much better than this one, I can feel it in my bones.

Other reasons I'm welcoming 2011:

-TAX RETURNS..yespls!

-Associates in April and I can say toodleloo to WCC

-I'll be an Aunty again when my sister Melissa *pops* (most excited for this one)

-The sooner next year comes the sooner summer comes...and I adore summer

-I bought a super cool calendar from Borders 2 days ago and as soon as 2010 jams it's going up.

nerdmode

Im annoyed with myself for being irritated that I didn't get BETTER than a 90% on my test. And I have been thinking about what I'm going to do for extra credit...even tho I know I don't need it. I just want to ensure that I will have a guaranteed A at the end of this semester....IN ALL MY CLASSES. I'm not quite sure what made me such an overachiever this semester, but it's in me so I let it take over since I'm not usually a motivated person when it comes to school. So just like that I decided I'm going to get all A's this semester. Which by the way, this semester is going too fast, but also not fast enough. Too fast because I feel like I don't have time to breath in between work, exams, studying, homework, field trips, quizzes, readings, and projects, and if I had more time I could study better. Not fast enough because I could really use a break. So even though Thanksgiving is right around the corner (next week actually!! yayy food!), I can't wait for Christmas break so I can have 3 weeks of spontaneous slothful bliss in which I can do or not do whatever I like! So until then bring it on school, I will kick your A..'s!!