We are now a family of four!

I had a baby. Again. Numero dos. She's a tiny little girl with big dark eyes, lots of dark black hair and I just love her.

Ema Marie Viola Tuineau. That's what we chose to name her. We had no clue what we were going to name her throughout my whole pregnancy and even up to the day we had her. We only decided on a name after she was born while we were sitting in the hospital with Aj's brother Ray and his wife Yeti and after I got some name suggestions from my mom over the phone. Ema was the name I wanted from the very beginning once I found out I was having a girl. The problem was that AJ hated that name and doesn't like the way it sounds when Tongans say it haha. But I didn't care because I wouldn't say it that way I'd say it how I want to and I think it's just a very cute name. Anyways he rejected that name every time I would bring it up. Then in the hospital when I suggested the rest of the name he surprisingly loved it...like a lot. He said he especially liked that she would be named after both my mom and my grandma because they are both great ladies. So that's the name we finally decided on. First name: Ema Marie (2 first names). Middle name: Viola. Last name: Tuineau (obvi). Ema, because I just really liked that name. And my dad said my great grandma Mele (the woman who raised him) had a sister named Ema. Marie, because that is my mom's middle name. Viola, because that is my grandma's (mom's mom) first name. Aj and I both originally wanted a Tongan name in there somewhere, but never could decide on one we both liked. I hope Ema Marie doesn't grow up feeling gypped about not having a Tongan name.

On to the birth story!

So Friday July 10th I had my weekly doctors appointment. For about the last month of my pregnancy my doctor had me doing non stress tests weekly since with Ray I had to be induced because my fluids were low, so they wanted to keep an eye on my fluids this time around. A non stress test is where you go in and they hook you up to a monitor and they do a quick ultrasound to measure your fluids then they monitor baby's heartbeat for about 20-30 min to make sure everything is ok. They explained to me that your fluids go on a scale from 1-20 and anything measuring between 10-20 is normal and good. My doctor in Hawaii told me anything below a 5 is not good (I was measuring at a 6 the day I was induced with Ray). So my previous 2 appointments I measured at 11.5 and the next week I measured at 10.4 I think. So my appointment on that Friday I knew something was wrong when the lady measuring my fluids was taking a long time because turns out she was having a hard time finding any. She measured the first time and got a 6, then she did it again to double check and came up with only a 5. So she called in another lady to try find more fluid and that lady measured only a 6 again. So they called my doctor and sent me down to labor and delivery to monitor me for longer.

Being monitored in labor and delivery. My "not today!" face.

My doctor came down when they were done and talked with me. She said baby was fine and the heartbeat was good, but that since the fluids were getting low she strongly recommended I get induced right then.  She explained to me that the concern wasn't necessarily about baby not having fluids to swim in but that the placenta is what makes the fluids and if it's giving out and not making fluids anymore then what's next to go? The placenta is also what feeds baby and gives baby oxygen so if it stops making fluids they worry that it will stop giving baby oxygen and nutrients which is obviously dangerous. I really didn't want to get induced this time, I was really hoping to go into labor naturally. I told her I really didn't want to get induced. Plus it was my Melissa's birthday and her and Mele were going to go out for dessert and I really wanted to join them! hahaha that sounds like horrible logic, but I really felt ok about not getting induced. And I had not planned on going into that appointment and not coming out, I wasn't ready to have a baby! True to myself I had not packed a hospital bag and I wanted to wash my hair so I didn't look like a hot mess. In my defense I had planned to wash laundry and get things packed and all ready when I went home after that appointment. I also strongly felt like I was going to have baby on Saturday (the very next day) anyways. So my doctor suggested I decide on a cut off day and that if I didn't have baby by whatever day then I would get induced. So I decided that if I didn't have baby naturally that weekend then I would get induced on that following Monday. My doctor agreed to that day and then just checked my dilation. I was at a 3, then to help speed up the whole thing she stripped my membrane even though I didn't really ask or want her to. I had been having contractions irregularly for about a week and they weren't strong so I wasn't bothered by it. But after that appointment I was having contractions for the rest of that Friday some a little bit more painful than others, but nothing I couldn't handle.

So I left the hospital and went home then Me and Meliss met Mele at this place called The Chocolate in West Jordan. It's this cute little house that they turned into a little dessert cafe where they serve all things yummy. We shared a cazookie (basically a pazookie? a giant warm cookie with ice cream on top) and gossiped like sisters do. Before we left we ordered 3 pieces of cake and a lemon bar (for me, I've always loved lemon bars) to go. We sampled the cake when we got home and it was delicious! My favorite was the vanilla, vanilla cake and vanilla frosting. Sounds boring, tastes amazing.

The rest of the day was chill. Hung out at home. Later my friend Sarah came over and we went and got some food and took our kids to the park while we stuffed our faces. I remember that night when I was getting Ray ready for bed he was being extra sweet and cute and I was trying to soak up every bit of his personality and love on him extra hard because I felt like I knew it was the last night he was going to be an only child, MY only child. I even told him that haha. I knew everything was about to change. Me and Ray went to bed (AJ was at work, he works horrible hours) and I got all the cuddles and soaked in all the love he would give me.

I was having pretty steady contractions when I had gone to bed and they were a little uncomfortable but I didn't feel the need to go to the hospital yet so I had wanted to get some rest. I woke up at 2:30am feeling more intense contractions and I was timing them and they were coming pretty regularly. So I texted AJ, who was at work, telling him that I was having sore contractions and that we may need to go to the hospital. He didn't respond which is normal cause when he's working he doesn't always check his phone right away. So I got in the shower because I still wanted to wash my hair and just feel clean before we went to the hospital. While I was showering I knew for sure I was having labor contractions just because they were so regular and getting stronger. I texted AJ after I showered and asked if he was on his way home yet. Then I started getting ready. Since he wasn't responding to my texts yet I decided I might as well actually do my hair. So I sat down and started straightening it. I remember having to take breaks when I would have a contraction just to focus and try to breathe through them, then when it was over I would continue doing my hair. It seems ridiculous that I was doing my hair when I should have been going to the hospital, but it was the middle of the night, my husband wasn't home, and I knew it wasn't baby time exactly so I didn't want to wake anyone up. Plus I really wanted to go to the hospital with AJ. So I checked my phone again and I could see that AJ had read my texts.....but he didn't respond...which had me getting irritated. So I text again telling him I needed him to come home. Around 3:30 I text my sister Melissa telling her I might need her to take me to the hospital because AJ wasn't responding and my contractions were getting stronger. But I knew she wouldn't hear the text because she was sleeping. I just honestly didn't really know what to do because AJ wasn't responding. So I text him again asking if he was coming home or if I should wake Melissa up. Again...he read it but didn't respond. I wanted to slap him. LOL. So I just finished getting ready and then FINALLY he texts me back at 3:55 "Get off in 5 min." WHAAAAT?!!! Hello!!! I'm having a baby!!! Pretty sure you can leave work 5 minutes early. Pretty sure you should have came home an hour ago because I should be at the hospital already! ....is what I wanted to say. But then he texts again, "hospital time?" DUH! haha but I told him I thought it definitely was hospital time and that I was trying to wait for him. He works half an hour away from where we live so he really should have left work earlier. Anyways I call my sister Melissa to tell her that AJ is almost home and that I needed her to watch Ray and sleep with him so that he didn't freak out when he woke up. AJ got home at 4:30 and grabbed our bags and ran out the door. But I was having a contraction and told him I'd meet him at the car and just was on the floor on all fours in pain and breathing through it trying to let the contraction pass before I could walk. After the contraction I ran out the door and off to the hospital we went.

I was having horrible contractions in the car and knew we needed to get to the hospital fast. I remember squeezing the door handle really tight every contraction. Then when we were almost to the freeway I started to feel nauseous. So I told AJ I needed to throw up and so he pulled over in this parking lot next to a Sonic. I opened the door and threw up. I saw a noodle from dinner, gross LOL. Then I told AJ that we need to get to the hospital NOW. Because I remember when I had Ray I got nauseous and threw up when I was close to needing to push him out. So AJ hit the gas pedal and we flew to the Murray hospital. He dropped me off at the front and went to park the car. I should have just gone inside, but I didn't want to go alone plus I started having a contraction so I sat down on the bench and breathed through it. Then I started walking inside, but I saw AJ coming so I sat down again. Then we both walked into labor and delivery. I told the girl at the desk that I think I'm in labor and she was all calm and seemed slightly annoyed. I don't know maybe they have lots of people who come in and act like their in so much pain or say they're in labor but then they aren't and so maybe she wasn't taking me seriously, but she's asking for my information and I had to go sit down because of another contraction. Then finally she leads us to a room and tells me to put on the gown and that someone would be back to check me. That was at about 5:00 am.

When it was just me and AJ I told him I had to throw up again so I went to the bathroom and threw up. Then I was trying to take my clothes off and get the gown on when I started another contraction. After that contraction passed I started to try to get the gown on again and then the nurse came in to see if I was ready, which I wasn't because I was busy throwing up and having contractions. But she came in anyways while AJ helped me change. It was a good thing I got sent to labor and delivery that previous morning because then they had already put all my information in the computer and didn't have to register me and have me answer a million ridiculous questions because I had already done it the day before. Not that there would have even been time to do it anyways because this baby was coming. So the nurse told me she was going to check my dilation. When she was checking she asked me if I had wanted an epidural. I told her no. She responded with, "Good because you're already at a 7." She said they would call my doctor and get her here soon. By this time the contractions were coming so strong and they hurt bad. I honestly think it hurt worse than when I had Ray. I couldn't talk to anyone just kind of turned to my side and gripped on really hard to the railing on the bed and watched the clock for 30 seconds because after 30 seconds the contraction dies down. I was starting to get impatient and asked the nurse how long it usually takes for the doctor to get there because I wanted to push this baby out already. I remember freaking out. Getting fidgety. Trying to occupy my mind with other things besides the pain. I asked the nurse if women who go natural seem crazy compared to women who have the epidural, because I felt like I was going crazy. My contractions were so intense. I remember having one and the doctor wasn't there yet and I was going through one and said to the nurse, "It hurts so bad and I feel like I need to push, but I'm trying not to." I was still trying to wait for the doctor to come. Right after I said that though my doctor walked through the door and the nurses had already set everything up so she walked in and I said I was ready and she was like ok. So the next contraction I started pushing. I think I only had a couple contractions and a few pushes and she was out. My doctor was really good because I was freaking the freak out. It hurt so bad and I just wanted her out, but at the same time I was like, "I can't do this!" AJ told me he was afraid to do or say anything cuz he didn't want me to freak out at him, but it would have been nice if he did anything lol which he didn't. It was the nurse who said "Look at me! Look at my eyes, breathe like me.." and the doctor calmed me down too. She told me to breathe and that I could do it and how to push and to focus my energy. And then she was out...

Just a tiny little thing.

Just listening to Mommy's heartbeat. 

This tiny little thing with so much dark hair! My doctor called her a "little peanut!" Ema Marie was born July 11, 2015 at 5:32am, weighed 5 lbs 13 oz and 19.5 inches in height. She was so small and I couldn't believe I was the only one who was getting fat this entire pregnancy. Like for real I was 15 pounds heavier than the day I had Ray. Because she was so small they tested her blood sugar shortly after she was born. She did fine, but they had to test her a couple more times before we could go home. I was able to do skin to skin with her for an hour afterwards which I loved. They gave her to me and as soon as she had her head on my chest and could hear my heartbeat she just relaxed her little body, it was so cool to see. I fed her and just held her for a while. I had forgotten how tiny they are at first and almost didn't know how to hold her. AJ went and got in the shower since he was dirty from work and didn't have time to shower when he came to pick me up. The nurses were still cleaning up the room and laughed about him showering, but he didn't want to hold baby until he was clean haha. A little while after we got moved to upstairs and I was so surprised at how easy it was to move around. I did have a small tear but nothing like when I had Ray. It's true what they say, the first birth is the hardest and then it only gets easier...and faster. If Aj had taken a half an hour extra then I definitely would have been one of those frantic crazed women having a baby in the car.

She was quite the little fur ball.

We moved rooms and I was able to go to the bathroom just fine and shower without help. I felt good and wanted to go home, but had to stay the 24 hours. People came and visited that day which was nice, but I was tired and Ema Marie was a much more alert baby than Ray was. She wasn't hard or crying a lot, but she just woke up more often so I didn't feel well rested in the hospital. Plus it's just hard to get good rest when someone is coming in every so often to check ur vitals. Melissa came with the kids to visit. Ray was hardly interested in his sister because he was too busy wanting to run around and touch everything haha. The next day I was so ready to go home, we ate our celebratory meal together but then we all 3 knocked out hard lol. The nurse said she didn't want to wake us and so she let us sleep. So when we woke up our discharge papers were all ready and we just packed up and got ready to leave. A nurse helped walk us to our car with our stuff and then we came home.

Just about ready to go home.

New Daddy again!

We brought her home and immediately started falling in love. The first thing Ray said to me about baby was, "I wanna hold It!" hahahahaha he was way more interested in her now than he was at the hospital. He was so sweet and wanted to see and hold her. They were already bonding and it was so cute to see. My mom heart was bursting.

Right when we got home from the hospital.

"I wanna hold It!"

love love love.

It's so weird to have a girl now. I wanted a boy since I already knew what that was like, but now that I have Ema Marie I'm so glad it's her. She made us a family of 4 and I can't imagine having anyone else!

The Tuineau's :)

want to run away

I just want to go on vacation.
I miss being in the ocean.
But we have no money.
And it feels like we never will.

Text me!

random number: Schlenk

me: SchNOPE.

random number: LOL SORRY

random number: old number

random number: I will remove

me: All good.

This was my real life textersation with someone trying to reach someone named schlenk. Just something that made me laugh a little today. I wonder what would have happened if I played along... I wish random strangers with the wrong number would text me more often. It's kind of fun to have a little chit chat with someone who could be anyone in the world!

I'm not much of a baker.

I'm pretty sure this tabasco is going to give me heartburn. I didn't even really want to eat this burrito.

And I'm sitting here wishing those cinnamon rolls would hurry up and rise so I can throw them into the oven already. It's gonna be past 10 o'clock by the time I get to eat them! Eating fat this late at night is no bueno. But then again I'm all about being fat right now anyways seeing how I'm pregnant and all right now.

I wrote a really honest blog post over a month ago. As I was wrapping it up and adding pictures to it my computer decided it didn't like it and deleted it for me. So goodbye blog post about all the feelings I had/have about being pregnant with a girl and leaving beautiful Hawaii to move to dry bleh Utah. And now you just get this random post as I'm sitting here at the counter in the kitchen giving myself heartburn and trying not to stare at the cinnamon rolls because I know if I stare at them they will not rise. They are stubborn like that. I've never even made cinnamon rolls from scratch before, but I thought I could attempt them today. We shall see if they turn out.....

tick tock.

'Cause my momma taught me betta than that..

I think it is extremely rude to make plans with your friends in front of someone you don't intend on including or even extending a courtesy invite to. It can make a person who may already feel like an outsider even more excluded. It's not nice. It's just plain bad manners. Who raised you?

Maybe if I wasn't already feeling all types of hormonal from stopping, cold turkey, breast feeding then I wouldn't be feeling extra sensitive about this. Maybe it wouldn't make me feel bad about myself and I'd be able to brush it off because I'd just know that they are real friends who hang all the time and I'm just kind of a friend they see once in a while. Maybe I wouldn't still be bothered about it today. But you know what? I would probably still think it rude.

Because it is.

Anyways, hormones. My hormones are determined to make me look like a crazy person. It's like sabotage from the inside out. This article is me right now, especially the motherhood and biology part. I would just add to the biology part: all the changes and hormone surges a women goes through with pregnancy, birth, breast feeding, weening. I've probably had 100 different personalities the past 2 years because of this. Right now I'm currently going between raging-psycho-Bword-who-wants-to-blow-up-in-your-face-and-cause-you-physical-pain and I'm-sad-and-lonely-and-anything-emotional-will-make-me-cry.

I just kind of feel sad. And it doesn't help when a group of friends talk about how they are going to have so much fun hanging out together being friends while I awkwardly sit there listening trying to look pleasant and not let my face show how I really felt, which was out of place.

Oh well. Here's this.

Me too son, me too. 

ARRGGHHHH!

I think it's safe to say Ray hates Utah. We have been here for 3 weeks and he's basically been sick the whole time. First he had a fever for a few days. Then he got really congested and couldn't stop coughing. That was finally just barely starting to go away and then last night he throws up. Then he throws up two more times today......ON ME. Not to mention his skin is literally being sucked dry. His cheeks started turning so pink and chapped. I started putting nipple cream on it to try to keep it from drying out. UTAH SUCKS. It's now 12:30 in the afternoon and I just finished scrubbing out puke from blankets and clothes and throwing them in the washing machine and finally showering off the vomit from my skin. This also all happened while AJ was at the gym and Meliss had to take Lusi to dance class so it was just me, Ray, Bear and Mele who was sleeping since she had worked a grave. I had to wake her up to watch Ray in the bath while I cleaned vomit off the floor and the couch and then Bear made a huge doodoo and I had to change his diaper. I was dying. Stupid Utah and it's dry air and germs making my baby sick. One more week then it's back to Hawaii.

Don't get me wrong I've been having a blast and can actually finally see us moving here me not hating it 100%, but today just really effing sucks.

Ice cream is inspirational to blogging.

Mint ice cream is meant to be GREEN. I firmly believe that. Mint ice cream that is white? What is that? You sir are an imposter and I will not eat you! GREEN mint ice cream, you are a classic. You are a comfort. You do not even need a label I can just look at you and know you, and that is why you need to be GREEN, not white. I know you and I want you. And you, you are my favorite. One of my fondest memories that brings me happiness. And that is why you are meant to be GREEN. You stand out and I immediately see you and recognize you, you are an old friend.

childhood flashback

There was (and still is) a Daves Ice Cream shop across from my elementary school. One wonderful sunny day after school we got to go get ice cream. Is there no greater treat to a child than an ice cream cone?? After we all get our cones we exit the store. We walk out of the ice cream shop and wait at the corner to cross the street. I am 100% happy with my GREEN mint ice cream cone, my favorite flavor, just waiting at the corner, just standing there. I had barely started eating it. What happened next is the most devastating thing that could happen to a child eating an ice cream cone. Yes, my green glob filled with delicious chocolate chips plummeted to the ground and landed with a great plop onto the hot concrete. I was left holding an empty cone. 

The End.

Obviously that was such a tragic event that it burned clearly into my memory and still makes me sad today. But you know what makes me happy? GREEN mint ice cream. And now I can go buy my own whenever I want. I have some in my freezer. It will probably be devoured by the days end, and none of it will end up on the ground. It will all end up in my tummy......and then eventually my butt and thighs...but who cares about that?! I am made out of ice cream, GREEN mint ice cream.!! What are you made out of?

We love ice cream. Clearly, we do.

hiiiii-yah!

I started to try and spruce up this place...(and by started I mean I just deleted the picture that used to be up in the header, then I got distracted by looking at a million pictures trying to pick out a new one, and ended up not choosing one at all and so that explains why this page all of suddens look more drab)...but now it's almost 11:30 at night and I'm getting tired. But I have something I need to get off my chest because I know exactly what's waiting for me when I go upstairs to bed...

I love my husband, I really do. Sometimes I just look at him and my heart just swells with this overflowing of love that I feel for him. He left me for a week to go to Utah to attend his cousins funeral. He got back last Thursday. I missed him while he was gone, I REALLY did, especially when baby was cranky and I just wanted a few minutes to myself but couldn't have any because there was no one else to take over. That week apart made me really grateful to be married to such a good man who loves his family endlessly. He does so much for me and our little Ray. I love being married to such a giving and caring man who has an eternal perspective of me and our family. BUT then there's sometimes, like today, when he gets mad at me cuz he's hangry and I had just asked him if he wanted me to make him something to eat, but instead of saying yes he wants to complain to me like it's my fault there was no food in the house and no car to go get anything. And then he the non stop snoring all night long that wakes me AND baby up....so I have to "remind" (more like punch him till he wakes up) him to roll over onto his side like 3 times a night. It's times like that when I just wanna karate chop him in his throat.

But like I said I love my husband. I'll take the good with the bad and roll with the punches.......to his chest till he wakes up and rolls over so he stops snoring.

I love him and he drives me crazy.

                                              

No time for a real update

What a whirlwind the past few weeks have been. Super short update from my phone.

Yup, this happened!

We took a plane ride to Utah. Baby handled his first flight awesome because he slept the entire time. Thank goodness for red eye flights!

And now were freezing our bootys off in Utah and spending as much time together with our families as possible! 

Family Pictures 2013

Just ordered our very first ever family Christmas cards a couple nights ago! I can't wait to get them and share them! I'm excited because we took some photos that I LOVE, they are our very first family pictures and I'm so glad we decided to do them this year. I'm such a procrastinator and so busy with school that I almost didn't want to do it because I didn't want to stress about taking the pics and then having to do a Christmas card and send them out. Anyways point is I'm totally glad we did it. Here's a sneak peak at our family photos that the amazing Chealsea Scanlan did for us. Check her out she's amazing! She is in Hawaii but often goes to the mainland like California, Utah, Idaho, etc. and she loves to do shoots when she's there! Check out her blog for updates :) Also did I mention she shoots in film? Well she does and the pictures come out...yup, AMAZING. 

I'm in love with these pictures. These are only a few of the many she did for us! Can't post the best ones just yet because those are on our Christmas cards and I don't want to give them away before we send them out. I should be doing homework, but as far as I'm concerned my mind is on vacation already. Anyways Thanksgiving this week then on to Christmas....ahh I love the holidays!

Baby Ray's Birth Story!

WARNING: very longwinded detailed version of Ray's birth story. Also I'm super bummed that we didn't have a real camera in the room so all the pictures posted are taken from a few of our phones so some of them really suck. I need a real camera already.

Thursday July 25, 2013 I had a doctors appointment in Kaneohe. 

The appointment I'd had the previous week I had been dilated to a 3. The doctor was surprised and told us she thought I'd just go into labor naturally within the next few days. Well that didn't happen and a whole week later I'd had no contractions (that I could feel anyways) and my water hadn't broke. So that Thursday came and I had told AJ to go to work even though he really wanted to skip work and come to the appointment with me in case I found out I was going to have baby. But since I hadn't been having any signs of going into labor any time soon I told him to just go to work and I'd see him after. I was working at my dad's office with my mom that day and she wanted to come with me too in case anything happened, but she got busy with work and couldn't come. I told her it was ok and since my sister, Melissa and her family, were flying in that day I'd come back after my appointment and pick them up with her or see them all after my appointment. Melissa really wanted to come for baby's birth and she had been telling me to hold him in until she got there.

Anyways I got to the doctors office and the first thing I told my doctor, Dr. Clark, was that I was kind of worried because since my last appointment I hadn't felt baby move as much as he used to and even at night when he was usually really active, he wasn't. So she said that could be a sign of my body not supporting the pregnancy as much anymore because baby was getting big and I was close to the end. But to make sure she did an ultrasound to check my fluids. (SIDENOTE: I was surprised when I found out that not everyone has an ultrasound every doctors visit they went to. Because my doctor did one for every single visit. So we saw our son every month moving around and doing his thing and then every 2 weeks and then every week up until his birth. That was always my favorite part of our visit, seeing him on the screen and hearing his beautiful little heart flutters) But back to my fluids...she said you normally have 4 big pockets of fluids and that one of my pockets was empty (which how does that even happen when your water hasn't broken yet? Where does/did the water go?). She said my fluid levels were at a 6 and anything under a 5 is not good, so I was ok but still that would be another reason why I hadn't felt my son move as much. Then she checked my dilation and I was at a 4. She was surprised I hadn't been having contractions or broke my water because she said I was progressing good enough. After that she sat down and said because of my fluids and not being able to feel baby moving as much that I could go ahead and head over to Castle Hospital and have the baby. ".....yeah..yeah..ok...WAIT WHAT?!! You mean today?! But I came here all alone and I don't want to go to the hospital alone, and I don't have my overnight bag ready and I didn't bring anything with me and I have class tonight....." That's what I was thinking in my head. Because I envisioned going into labor Thursday night or Friday morning AFTER my class that way I could have baby over the weekend and have a day or two to recover and then be back in class Tuesday and not have to miss a day of school. I hate missing school. I almost asked her if we could do it the next day so that I could go to class. But then I remembered how worried I had been feeling and how sad it made me when I wouldn't feel my son and I'd sit really still just waiting for a little kick or nudge anywhere to confirm he was still alive in there. So I decided doctor knows best. She told me to just go straight to the hospital and that my husband and family would have plenty of time to get there since I wasn't going into labor immediately. So I told her I would go straight to the hospital...which is like 20 min or less away. But then I went out to my car and called my mom. My mom was kind of surprised and I told her I didn't want to go to the hospital alone and I was going to call AJ and pick him up from his job site.

What my app that day (Friday) was telling me was true! 

So I picked up AJ who happened to conveniently be working in Kahaluu that day. I filled him in on what was going on. As I was driving I started to freak out a little because I couldn't believe the day was finally here. I started to feel light headed and kind of shaky and I was kind of yelling at AJ telling him he should be driving cuz I didn't feel good. It was sinking in. We went back to Pearl City, we both showered and grabbed our bags. I ate an apple. We stopped at Jamba Juice too because I was hungry. It was so weird to be heading to the hospital to have a baby, our baby. We both kept talking about how unreal it was as we held hands on our way there. I was so glad I wasn't going to the hospital alone. We finally got there around 3 or 3:30. We checked in and got into our room and I got all changed and hooked up to an IV. They told me they were going to start me on pitocen and then the waiting game began. Dr. Clark stopped by and she told me that she had called the hospital a little while after I left and asked if I had checked in yet and they told her I hadn't so she was confused because I should have been there already. I told her I didn't want to come alone so I had gone to get my husband and she laughed and said it was totally fine she just thought something bad might have happened. The nurse said they were going to up the pitocen kind of fast so they'd come in every hour or half hour and up the dosage, but I wasn't feeling any bad contractions. They told me I was having them because they could see it on the screen, but to me it didn't feel that bad so I didn't really even know I was having them. And they joked that I obviously wasn't feeling it because I was still smiling and happy. haha

When I was still happy and painless.

I really liked Castle. It was so nice, big, and comforting.

Melissa, Teki, Lusi and Baby Ti came to visit after they got in and I told Meliss that baby waited for her to get her. They hung out for a little while. It was so cute when Lusi first walked in she said, "Baby Tousin" (Baby Cousin) and she still calls him that. While they were there the nurse called my doctor because my contractions weren't progressing with the pitocen since I didn't feel them getting stronger. My doctor told them to stop the pitocen for a while like an hour and a half and then start me back on it again and to up it very slowly. By that time we had been there for about 5 or 6 hours and I was freaking hungry. I asked the nurse if I could eat something and she told me they don't normally let anyone eat anything because once labor starts they usually throw it up. But we were starting the whole process over again and I was so hungry so I was like "even a cracker will do, I'm just really hungry" so she said she'd call Dr. Clark. She came back with apple juice, crackers, and a popsicle which she said was all Dr. Clark said I could eat. I was totally fine with that, except Lusi wanted to eat all my food with me so the nurse went and got a little extra for Lusi too. After that everyone left to go get some rest. I told my mom I'd call them when my contractions started getting bad so that Melissa and her could come back. Then it was just me and AJ again.

Lusi kept wanting to sit on the bed with her FAVORITE aunty. lol

We waited, watched tv, and tried to rest. Which was easy for him, but I like how all the nurses kept telling me to "try and get some rest"but then how can I when they are literally coming in every 30 min to check on me and my vitals. Not to mention my butt was SO DEAD it was nearly impossible to find a comfortable position and then when I would I moved so much that my monitor on my belly listening to the baby's heart would move and then a nurse would come in to move it back into a spot so they could hear baby's heart. (Once when the nurse was in the room I laughed and she said baby liked when I laughed cuz she could see how his heart responded on the screen when I laughed, I liked that.) Plus the constant drip of fluids into my body made me have to pee every freaking hour and going to the bathroom when you're connected to a billion wires isn't easy. I kept having to have AJ help me unplug from the machine and the wall so I could go to the bathroom. When it started getting late AJ fell asleep on the couch and was snoring SO LOUD so that was just another thing keeping me from sleeping. Plus when I needed him to help me to the bathroom I literally had to yell to wake him up...I kept imagining and wishing I had something I could throw at him to wake him up......cuz I was a little irritated that he was sleeping and I wasn't. So basically very restless sleep for me.

Around 4 in the morning I started getting contractions I could feel and THEY FREAKING HURT! I had already talked to the nurses and told them I was doing this natural and not to mention any pain meds because I wasn't going to use them. I really wanted to do it natural because my mom had and so did my sister and I just think our bodies were made to do this so I could handle it. Plus I just don't like the idea of putting things into my body that it doesn't need...except for candy, it always needs that. haha, but I'm speaking medicine wise here. So I called my mom and she said her and Melissa would be on their way. The pain was not what I expected, I mean I didn't expect it to be pleasant, but I wasn't expecting THAT. I didn't feel any pain in my abdomen, it was ALL in my lower back and hips. Every single contraction I felt like my hips were pulling apart. I would watch the little screen and see when contractions were starting and I'd want to cry. I realized that they were really bad for 30 seconds and then after that they'd start to fade away. So I'd watch the clock and time it for 30 seconds and if I could just get through those 30 seconds I knew I'd be ok. It was then that I remember thinking and asking my mom and sister why people have more than one baby, because after that kind of pain who would want another one? And the whole time during my contractions I was convinced I would never have another baby after because I never wanted to feel that kind of pain again. I didn't cry though, I just frowned, whimpered and felt like crying, but no tears came out. I didn't even yell at AJ or anyone. I just watched the clock and tried to control my breathing. My nurse told me I was doing so good and handling the pain so well. I did throw up a couple times. The first time I said I thought I was going to throw up they didn't have anything for me to throw up in right there and the nurse had to scramble around getting me a little bucket thing while I tried to hold it in until she got it. Aj was more grossed out by the throwing up than he was by the whole birth lol.

This is me being a baby because I was in so much pain.

At 6:00 my nurse said she would call my doctor since my contractions were getting bigger and I was dilated to a 7 I think...or maybe a 5 or 6? cant remember. Then she told me my doctor would be in at 7:00. I thought I was going to die having to wait another hour. 7:00 came and my doctor wasn't there and I remember getting kind of mad thinking where is she?! I think she showed up at 7:15ish. My water still hadn't broken but my contractions were so close together and I can't remember if I was dilated to a 9 before or after she broke my water. But soon after she got there and broke my water I told her I felt like I needed to push. She said ok and so I started pushing at about 7:40.

My chart.

There was Dr. Clark, 2 nurses (the one who helped deliver, her name was Sarah and she was great! Definitely my favorite nurse), Aj, my mom, and Melissa in the room. So my mom and Meliss were helping to hold my legs and Aj was by my side and then they would rotate between helping hold my legs or just watching. I didn't take any birthing classes or even read or watch anything that would help me know what to do during labor and pushing, I figured my body would just tell me when to push. My nurse and Dr. told me to hold all my breath in and use it to push when I pushed. Each contraction we did 3 pushes and my Dr. counted out loud to 10 for each push. That was really hard. A few times I felt like I wasn't getting enough air because they told me to hold my breath in when I push then I was given like 1 second to get a new breath of air and then had to push again for 10 seconds holding my breath in. Doing that 3 times in a row was hard. During one contraction my Dr. counted to 10 once then she said ok again, but I just said "noooo, I need to breathe, I feel like I'm not getting enough air." My Dr. was awesome she was really calm and just kept telling me how great I was doing. My mom told me after that she thought I was going to pass out because my face was so red from how hard I was pushing. I just really wanted him out of me already so I was pushing the hardest I could. Dr. Clark told me when she could see his head that he had a lot of hair! And then she touched his head and she saw that his heart rate responded to the touch. That was cool. The last few pushes I remember feeling discouraged because I could feel him coming out a little but then when I stopped pushing he would go back in. I was just so focused on pushing him out and was probably a little light headed from all the pushing. So the last push when he came out and everyone was saying "his heads out, his heads out" I almost didn't believe that I could see his tiny head with all that black hair.

Baby Ray Siosiua Tuineau was born at 8:26am on July 26th 2013, his EXACT due date.

They gave him a pink bow beanie at first and I thought it was funny.

They immediately put baby on my chest and Aj told me after that I just kept saying "oh my gosh! oh my gosh!" over and over. I was FREAKING out. AJ was crying, I think I was in shock, and I don't even know what my mom and melissa were doing. I think my mom cried... I don't remember. I don't even remember what I was doing.

Cousins reunited on Earth!

With Aunty Melissa.

                                                       

Those lips.

I really liked that they immediately gave him to me. They told me before hand that they would give him to me and he could eat and just stay with me until I was ready to give him to them so they could weigh him and give him a bath. I think I kept him for about 20 min. It was amazing. I fed him for the first time and I just stared and stared at him. But I remember I kept saying "I don't know what I'm doing" like when the nurse told me to try to feed him, and then she had to help me. haha I had ripped when he came out so Dr. Clark had to stitch me up and I didn't even care that she was or that it was hurting because I had a beautiful brand new baby to distract me. I held him till after she was done. Then I gave him over so that they could clean him up. He weighed 6 lbs 14 oz and he was 19 1/2 inch long! I was so exhausted. It was funny cuz I was the center of attention that whole time then as soon as baby came I was left sitting on the bed by myself and everyone was over on the other side of the room taking pictures of baby getting weighed and getting a bath. I remember thinking "Hey, I'm here too!" haha I didn't mind though, I would have been over there too if I could have moved.

Another feeling forgotten moment while everyone was swooning over our fresh baby.

I was envious of all the sleep he was getting.

In LOVE.

Amazing.

After things finally settled down and my family left and it was just me, AJ, and baby I kept telling him, "We have a baby..." and we'd just stare at each other and at him and it was the strangest feeling. I couldn't sleep even though I was beyond tired. When I went to the bathroom I noticed I had a few red spots in my eyes and then I later noticed I also had red spots all up and down my cheeks and neck. I asked my nurse what it was and she told me it's from pushing so hard and that it would go away. I'm assuming it was popped blood vessels, I told you I was pushing freaking hard! But I finally slept for maybe an hour, then we had to move upstairs to another room because the birthing center was so full that we couldn't stay in the room.

Lusi just loved him. She still calls me now asking about "baby tousin" :)

Brand new baby and brand new daddy!

Apparently that was the weekend to have babies, and it was because that day and the few days following it I knew about 5 or 6 other people on facebook who had their babies also. It was a wonderful weekend to have a baby! I even had a friend who I worked with we found out we were pregnant at around the same time and right after we moved upstairs she texted me and told me she was in the hospital too to have her baby! Finally that night I slept and it was so good. Saturday morning Aj went with Ray to get him circumcised and AJ said, "he took it like a champ." He didn't cry at all. We checked out of the hospital that Saturday afternoon. We went straight to the Walgreens drive thru to fill my prescriptions, while we waited we went to panda express cuz poor AJ was neglected in the hospital the whole time and was starving except when my mom would bring him food. So we sat inside Panda and ate with our brand new baby and my gimpy slow walking self. Then we picked up my prescriptions and went to Pearl City to stay at my parents house.

My mom and dad with Ray

They gave him a new beanie after he got circumcised and I just thought it was the cutest ever on Ray.

They been napping together since day 1, literally.

Blurry pic of us walking out the hospital with our heavenly new baby!

The next day we went to church at my parents ward where everyone thought I was nuts for being there instead of being at home, but I felt like going to church and not sitting on my butt anymore. Then the next day Monday we went to the mall with my sister, thinking back I should have relaxed a little more, but I just wanted to go back to normal already. Tuesday we went back to Laie and I went to class, my teacher was surprised to see me, but like I said I hate missing class. Plus I felt like I was recovering quickly and totally fine to be out and about. Something weird was adjusting to being a mom. I kept saying out loud and in my head when I'd talk to my son, "Aunty's going to change your diaper" or for  whatever I was doing. I was so used to being an aunty it was weird to have my own baby, my own son. So yeah, thats the story of how my little one came to be on Earth. He has changed my whole world. I feel nothing but total love when I look at his little face. I'm a mom now, it's pretty cool.

Baby Ray's first time to church!

I told you this girl just loves him! She would have smothered him if she was allowed to! 

I just love the cousin love.

Here he is a few days old...natural born poser that's for sure!

About that last picture since we were in the hospital my doctor and another doctor and some of the nurses mentioned how expressive Ray was because he pulled a lot of faces for a newborn. And it's true he has always made a ton of faces and furrowed his eyebrows since the day he was born. I have a ton of pictures of him doing different faces. It's pretty funny maybe I'll post them sometime. Anyways I just think he has such a cute little face even with his big old tongan nose! haha that's the first thing we all noticed "Well he got daddy's nose that's for sure" is what we all said. haha although the doctor told us his nose was a bit swollen from coming out through my you know what and that it would go down, and it did a little bit, but let's be honest he still got that tongan nose lol. But I noticed and some other people have mentioned that he didn't really ever have that newborn look, he came out with some distinct features and I think I have to agree, he kind of had mature features that made him not look so newborn like. I just love him so much. Everyone says how they never knew they could love someone so much.... but I believed my parents when they said we would never understand until we had our own children someday, and I do. I understand now. It's completely incredible.

THINGS I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME BEFORE I GAVE BIRTH:
-Eat something before you go into the hospital even if the doctor tells you not to. Labor is hard and being hungry the whole time leading up to it makes it even worse.
-STOOL SOFTENER. Request it as soon as you're in the hospital. My nurses didn't offer me any and I had to actually request it from them after birth and then they only gave me one the whole time I was in there. That first poop after birth when I went home was a biiiiiiiitch. I cried. Yes, actual tears....that didn't even happen in the hospital. I was on the toilet for almost an hour. No one told me you'd be afraid to go to the bathroom after everything.
-Your poor boobs. No one explicitly told me how horrible breast feeding is the first couple of weeks. I literally would be kicking my legs in pain while feeding my baby. Lanolin breast cream for your nipples will be your best friend and you will dread feeding time, BUT it gets so much better.
-Bring food/snacks for your husband and for yourself after you have baby. Poor Aj was starving and the hospital food was pretty gross, my favorite thing was the fruit.
-It is hard to sit down. From just laying on the bed for hours on end my butt was perma dead and sore, then after birth it was even harder.
-Let's hope your husband knows how to change a diaper. I didn't change one diaper the entire time I was in the hospital because I just couldn't really move around at all. Aj even had to help me shower/get dressed/go bathroom. I love my husband for that. He was the best at helping with EVERYTHING. But I'm sure if he doesn't know how to change a diaper the nurses would be more than happy to help.

hmm and I think that's all I can remember. If I had blogged right after it happened like I should have then I'd probably remember more, but I'm sure as some of you already know life is busy when you're a momma. My days have been occupied by this cute little babe who has captured my heart. I love everything about my new family.

Our very first photo as a family.