Monday, July 11, 2016

We are now a family of four!

I had a baby. Again. Numero dos. She's a tiny little girl with big dark eyes, lots of dark black hair and I just love her.

Ema Marie Viola Tuineau. That's what we chose to name her. We had no clue what we were going to name her throughout my whole pregnancy and even up to the day we had her. We only decided on a name after she was born while we were sitting in the hospital with Aj's brother Ray and his wife Yeti and after I got some name suggestions from my mom over the phone. Ema was the name I wanted from the very beginning once I found out I was having a girl. The problem was that AJ hated that name and doesn't like the way it sounds when Tongans say it haha. But I didn't care because I wouldn't say it that way I'd say it how I want to and I think it's just a very cute name. Anyways he rejected that name every time I would bring it up. Then in the hospital when I suggested the rest of the name he surprisingly loved it...like a lot. He said he especially liked that she would be named after both my mom and my grandma because they are both great ladies. So that's the name we finally decided on. First name: Ema Marie (2 first names). Middle name: Viola. Last name: Tuineau (obvi). Ema, because I just really liked that name. And my dad said my great grandma Mele (the woman who raised him) had a sister named Ema. Marie, because that is my mom's middle name. Viola, because that is my grandma's (mom's mom) first name. Aj and I both originally wanted a Tongan name in there somewhere, but never could decide on one we both liked. I hope Ema Marie doesn't grow up feeling gypped about not having a Tongan name.

On to the birth story!

So Friday July 10th I had my weekly doctors appointment. For about the last month of my pregnancy my doctor had me doing non stress tests weekly since with Ray I had to be induced because my fluids were low, so they wanted to keep an eye on my fluids this time around. A non stress test is where you go in and they hook you up to a monitor and they do a quick ultrasound to measure your fluids then they monitor baby's heartbeat for about 20-30 min to make sure everything is ok. They explained to me that your fluids go on a scale from 1-20 and anything measuring between 10-20 is normal and good. My doctor in Hawaii told me anything below a 5 is not good (I was measuring at a 6 the day I was induced with Ray). So my previous 2 appointments I measured at 11.5 and the next week I measured at 10.4 I think. So my appointment on that Friday I knew something was wrong when the lady measuring my fluids was taking a long time because turns out she was having a hard time finding any. She measured the first time and got a 6, then she did it again to double check and came up with only a 5. So she called in another lady to try find more fluid and that lady measured only a 6 again. So they called my doctor and sent me down to labor and delivery to monitor me for longer.
Being monitored in labor and delivery. My "not today!" face.
My doctor came down when they were done and talked with me. She said baby was fine and the heartbeat was good, but that since the fluids were getting low she strongly recommended I get induced right then.  She explained to me that the concern wasn't necessarily about baby not having fluids to swim in but that the placenta is what makes the fluids and if it's giving out and not making fluids anymore then what's next to go? The placenta is also what feeds baby and gives baby oxygen so if it stops making fluids they worry that it will stop giving baby oxygen and nutrients which is obviously dangerous. I really didn't want to get induced this time, I was really hoping to go into labor naturally. I told her I really didn't want to get induced. Plus it was my Melissa's birthday and her and Mele were going to go out for dessert and I really wanted to join them! hahaha that sounds like horrible logic, but I really felt ok about not getting induced. And I had not planned on going into that appointment and not coming out, I wasn't ready to have a baby! True to myself I had not packed a hospital bag and I wanted to wash my hair so I didn't look like a hot mess. In my defense I had planned to wash laundry and get things packed and all ready when I went home after that appointment. I also strongly felt like I was going to have baby on Saturday (the very next day) anyways. So my doctor suggested I decide on a cut off day and that if I didn't have baby by whatever day then I would get induced. So I decided that if I didn't have baby naturally that weekend then I would get induced on that following Monday. My doctor agreed to that day and then just checked my dilation. I was at a 3, then to help speed up the whole thing she stripped my membrane even though I didn't really ask or want her to. I had been having contractions irregularly for about a week and they weren't strong so I wasn't bothered by it. But after that appointment I was having contractions for the rest of that Friday some a little bit more painful than others, but nothing I couldn't handle.

So I left the hospital and went home then Me and Meliss met Mele at this place called The Chocolate in West Jordan. It's this cute little house that they turned into a little dessert cafe where they serve all things yummy. We shared a cazookie (basically a pazookie? a giant warm cookie with ice cream on top) and gossiped like sisters do. Before we left we ordered 3 pieces of cake and a lemon bar (for me, I've always loved lemon bars) to go. We sampled the cake when we got home and it was delicious! My favorite was the vanilla, vanilla cake and vanilla frosting. Sounds boring, tastes amazing.

The rest of the day was chill. Hung out at home. Later my friend Sarah came over and we went and got some food and took our kids to the park while we stuffed our faces. I remember that night when I was getting Ray ready for bed he was being extra sweet and cute and I was trying to soak up every bit of his personality and love on him extra hard because I felt like I knew it was the last night he was going to be an only child, MY only child. I even told him that haha. I knew everything was about to change. Me and Ray went to bed (AJ was at work, he works horrible hours) and I got all the cuddles and soaked in all the love he would give me.

I was having pretty steady contractions when I had gone to bed and they were a little uncomfortable but I didn't feel the need to go to the hospital yet so I had wanted to get some rest. I woke up at 2:30am feeling more intense contractions and I was timing them and they were coming pretty regularly. So I texted AJ, who was at work, telling him that I was having sore contractions and that we may need to go to the hospital. He didn't respond which is normal cause when he's working he doesn't always check his phone right away. So I got in the shower because I still wanted to wash my hair and just feel clean before we went to the hospital. While I was showering I knew for sure I was having labor contractions just because they were so regular and getting stronger. I texted AJ after I showered and asked if he was on his way home yet. Then I started getting ready. Since he wasn't responding to my texts yet I decided I might as well actually do my hair. So I sat down and started straightening it. I remember having to take breaks when I would have a contraction just to focus and try to breathe through them, then when it was over I would continue doing my hair. It seems ridiculous that I was doing my hair when I should have been going to the hospital, but it was the middle of the night, my husband wasn't home, and I knew it wasn't baby time exactly so I didn't want to wake anyone up. Plus I really wanted to go to the hospital with AJ. So I checked my phone again and I could see that AJ had read my texts.....but he didn't respond...which had me getting irritated. So I text again telling him I needed him to come home. Around 3:30 I text my sister Melissa telling her I might need her to take me to the hospital because AJ wasn't responding and my contractions were getting stronger. But I knew she wouldn't hear the text because she was sleeping. I just honestly didn't really know what to do because AJ wasn't responding. So I text him again asking if he was coming home or if I should wake Melissa up. Again...he read it but didn't respond. I wanted to slap him. LOL. So I just finished getting ready and then FINALLY he texts me back at 3:55 "Get off in 5 min." WHAAAAT?!!! Hello!!! I'm having a baby!!! Pretty sure you can leave work 5 minutes early. Pretty sure you should have came home an hour ago because I should be at the hospital already! ....is what I wanted to say. But then he texts again, "hospital time?" DUH! haha but I told him I thought it definitely was hospital time and that I was trying to wait for him. He works half an hour away from where we live so he really should have left work earlier. Anyways I call my sister Melissa to tell her that AJ is almost home and that I needed her to watch Ray and sleep with him so that he didn't freak out when he woke up. AJ got home at 4:30 and grabbed our bags and ran out the door. But I was having a contraction and told him I'd meet him at the car and just was on the floor on all fours in pain and breathing through it trying to let the contraction pass before I could walk. After the contraction I ran out the door and off to the hospital we went.

I was having horrible contractions in the car and knew we needed to get to the hospital fast. I remember squeezing the door handle really tight every contraction. Then when we were almost to the freeway I started to feel nauseous. So I told AJ I needed to throw up and so he pulled over in this parking lot next to a Sonic. I opened the door and threw up. I saw a noodle from dinner, gross LOL. Then I told AJ that we need to get to the hospital NOW. Because I remember when I had Ray I got nauseous and threw up when I was close to needing to push him out. So AJ hit the gas pedal and we flew to the Murray hospital. He dropped me off at the front and went to park the car. I should have just gone inside, but I didn't want to go alone plus I started having a contraction so I sat down on the bench and breathed through it. Then I started walking inside, but I saw AJ coming so I sat down again. Then we both walked into labor and delivery. I told the girl at the desk that I think I'm in labor and she was all calm and seemed slightly annoyed. I don't know maybe they have lots of people who come in and act like their in so much pain or say they're in labor but then they aren't and so maybe she wasn't taking me seriously, but she's asking for my information and I had to go sit down because of another contraction. Then finally she leads us to a room and tells me to put on the gown and that someone would be back to check me. That was at about 5:00 am.

When it was just me and AJ I told him I had to throw up again so I went to the bathroom and threw up. Then I was trying to take my clothes off and get the gown on when I started another contraction. After that contraction passed I started to try to get the gown on again and then the nurse came in to see if I was ready, which I wasn't because I was busy throwing up and having contractions. But she came in anyways while AJ helped me change. It was a good thing I got sent to labor and delivery that previous morning because then they had already put all my information in the computer and didn't have to register me and have me answer a million ridiculous questions because I had already done it the day before. Not that there would have even been time to do it anyways because this baby was coming. So the nurse told me she was going to check my dilation. When she was checking she asked me if I had wanted an epidural. I told her no. She responded with, "Good because you're already at a 7." She said they would call my doctor and get her here soon. By this time the contractions were coming so strong and they hurt bad. I honestly think it hurt worse than when I had Ray. I couldn't talk to anyone just kind of turned to my side and gripped on really hard to the railing on the bed and watched the clock for 30 seconds because after 30 seconds the contraction dies down. I was starting to get impatient and asked the nurse how long it usually takes for the doctor to get there because I wanted to push this baby out already. I remember freaking out. Getting fidgety. Trying to occupy my mind with other things besides the pain. I asked the nurse if women who go natural seem crazy compared to women who have the epidural, because I felt like I was going crazy. My contractions were so intense. I remember having one and the doctor wasn't there yet and I was going through one and said to the nurse, "It hurts so bad and I feel like I need to push, but I'm trying not to." I was still trying to wait for the doctor to come. Right after I said that though my doctor walked through the door and the nurses had already set everything up so she walked in and I said I was ready and she was like ok. So the next contraction I started pushing. I think I only had a couple contractions and a few pushes and she was out. My doctor was really good because I was freaking the freak out. It hurt so bad and I just wanted her out, but at the same time I was like, "I can't do this!" AJ told me he was afraid to do or say anything cuz he didn't want me to freak out at him, but it would have been nice if he did anything lol which he didn't. It was the nurse who said "Look at me! Look at my eyes, breathe like me.." and the doctor calmed me down too. She told me to breathe and that I could do it and how to push and to focus my energy. And then she was out...
Just a tiny little thing.
Just listening to Mommy's heartbeat. 
This tiny little thing with so much dark hair! My doctor called her a "little peanut!" Ema Marie was born July 11, 2015 at 5:32am, weighed 5 lbs 13 oz and 19.5 inches in height. She was so small and I couldn't believe I was the only one who was getting fat this entire pregnancy. Like for real I was 15 pounds heavier than the day I had Ray. Because she was so small they tested her blood sugar shortly after she was born. She did fine, but they had to test her a couple more times before we could go home. I was able to do skin to skin with her for an hour afterwards which I loved. They gave her to me and as soon as she had her head on my chest and could hear my heartbeat she just relaxed her little body, it was so cool to see. I fed her and just held her for a while. I had forgotten how tiny they are at first and almost didn't know how to hold her. AJ went and got in the shower since he was dirty from work and didn't have time to shower when he came to pick me up. The nurses were still cleaning up the room and laughed about him showering, but he didn't want to hold baby until he was clean haha. A little while after we got moved to upstairs and I was so surprised at how easy it was to move around. I did have a small tear but nothing like when I had Ray. It's true what they say, the first birth is the hardest and then it only gets easier...and faster. If Aj had taken a half an hour extra then I definitely would have been one of those frantic crazed women having a baby in the car.
She was quite the little fur ball.
We moved rooms and I was able to go to the bathroom just fine and shower without help. I felt good and wanted to go home, but had to stay the 24 hours. People came and visited that day which was nice, but I was tired and Ema Marie was a much more alert baby than Ray was. She wasn't hard or crying a lot, but she just woke up more often so I didn't feel well rested in the hospital. Plus it's just hard to get good rest when someone is coming in every so often to check ur vitals. Melissa came with the kids to visit. Ray was hardly interested in his sister because he was too busy wanting to run around and touch everything haha. The next day I was so ready to go home, we ate our celebratory meal together but then we all 3 knocked out hard lol. The nurse said she didn't want to wake us and so she let us sleep. So when we woke up our discharge papers were all ready and we just packed up and got ready to leave. A nurse helped walk us to our car with our stuff and then we came home.

Just about ready to go home.
New Daddy again!
We brought her home and immediately started falling in love. The first thing Ray said to me about baby was, "I wanna hold It!" hahahahaha he was way more interested in her now than he was at the hospital. He was so sweet and wanted to see and hold her. They were already bonding and it was so cute to see. My mom heart was bursting.
Right when we got home from the hospital.

"I wanna hold It!"
love love love.
It's so weird to have a girl now. I wanted a boy since I already knew what that was like, but now that I have Ema Marie I'm so glad it's her. She made us a family of 4 and I can't imagine having anyone else!
The Tuineau's :)

Friday, May 13, 2016

want to run away

I just want to go on vacation.
I miss being in the ocean.
But we have no money.
And it feels like we never will.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Text me!

random number: Schlenk

me: SchNOPE.

random number: LOL SORRY

random number: old number

random number: I will remove

me: All good.

This was my real life textersation with someone trying to reach someone named schlenk. Just something that made me laugh a little today. I wonder what would have happened if I played along... I wish random strangers with the wrong number would text me more often. It's kind of fun to have a little chit chat with someone who could be anyone in the world!

Monday, May 4, 2015

I'm not much of a baker.

I'm pretty sure this tabasco is going to give me heartburn. I didn't even really want to eat this burrito.

And I'm sitting here wishing those cinnamon rolls would hurry up and rise so I can throw them into the oven already. It's gonna be past 10 o'clock by the time I get to eat them! Eating fat this late at night is no bueno. But then again I'm all about being fat right now anyways seeing how I'm pregnant and all right now.

I wrote a really honest blog post over a month ago. As I was wrapping it up and adding pictures to it my computer decided it didn't like it and deleted it for me. So goodbye blog post about all the feelings I had/have about being pregnant with a girl and leaving beautiful Hawaii to move to dry bleh Utah. And now you just get this random post as I'm sitting here at the counter in the kitchen giving myself heartburn and trying not to stare at the cinnamon rolls because I know if I stare at them they will not rise. They are stubborn like that. I've never even made cinnamon rolls from scratch before, but I thought I could attempt them today. We shall see if they turn out.....

tick tock.

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

'Cause my momma taught me betta than that..

I think it is extremely rude to make plans with your friends in front of someone you don't intend on including or even extending a courtesy invite to. It can make a person who may already feel like an outsider even more excluded. It's not nice. It's just plain bad manners. Who raised you?

Maybe if I wasn't already feeling all types of hormonal from stopping, cold turkey, breast feeding then I wouldn't be feeling extra sensitive about this. Maybe it wouldn't make me feel bad about myself and I'd be able to brush it off because I'd just know that they are real friends who hang all the time and I'm just kind of a friend they see once in a while. Maybe I wouldn't still be bothered about it today. But you know what? I would probably still think it rude.

Because it is.

Anyways, hormones. My hormones are determined to make me look like a crazy person. It's like sabotage from the inside out. This article is me right now, especially the motherhood and biology part. I would just add to the biology part: all the changes and hormone surges a women goes through with pregnancy, birth, breast feeding, weening. I've probably had 100 different personalities the past 2 years because of this. Right now I'm currently going between raging-psycho-Bword-who-wants-to-blow-up-in-your-face-and-cause-you-physical-pain and I'm-sad-and-lonely-and-anything-emotional-will-make-me-cry.

I just kind of feel sad. And it doesn't help when a group of friends talk about how they are going to have so much fun hanging out together being friends while I awkwardly sit there listening trying to look pleasant and not let my face show how I really felt, which was out of place.

Oh well. Here's this.

Me too son, me too.