Splash! A failed attempt and a cautionary tale.

This is the story of baby Ray's first time in the ocean. BUT I would say it is also a story of how sometimes men have selective hearing.

I've been wanting to take baby into the ocean before the water gets too cold. I thought last weekend was the perfect opportunity. So after eating a ginormous breakfast and watching conference we got ready to go to the beach. The weather has been kind of fickle lately so I wanted to hurry up and go while the sun was still out and it was hot. We decided to go to Turtle Bay since it's a little more kid friendly. Well we got there and I could already see the big gray clouds coming in the distance. I told AJ we gotta get in the water before it rains because I really wanted to dunk baby under the water. During the time on our way to the beach and when we got there I think I said AT LEAST 3 times that all you have to do is blow in baby's face so he holds his breath before you dunk him.....easy peasy right?

So this is how Ray's first experience with the ocean went:
Aj takes our nakey bum baby into the water while I'm standing near by, obvi with phone in hand to take pictures. I snap some pictures of them getting in the water. Baby was great he was just cruisin. Except when Aj held him out away from his body then he let out a sad little cry because he didn't like that, but he was just fine when Aj was holding him close to his body. He didn't seem to hate it, which is a good sign cause I want a little water baby who swims like a fish! Anyways so after I was done taking pictures I told Aj to dunk him. Aj kind of didn't want to cause he was scared, but I told him to "just do it, and hurry up before it starts raining!" So I'm watching, Aj holds baby out a little bit away from his body and I'm waiting for him to blow in his face, but I watch horrified and frozen as Aj dunks little Ray into the water WITHOUT blowing in his face!! I think I was frozen for a good 5 seconds before I could say anything or react. Because I then watched as Aj pulled him out of the water........AND THEN BLEW IN HIS FACE!!! HE DID IT BACKWARDS despite how many times I had told him how to do it!

It took a second to register then I started whisper yelling because 1- I didn't want Aj to get embarrassed by his psycho wife yelling at him in front of all the haole tourists, and 2- I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that we're new, inexperienced, bad-for-dunking-our-2-month-old-baby-and-almost-drowning-him-parents. So I whisper yelled at Aj, "What are you doing??? You're suppose to blow in his face BEFORE you dunk him so that he holds his breath!!" Aj was just like "I don't know what I'm doing. YOU should have done it!" And I'm just like "REALLY?!! How many times did I tell you what to do???" And I know for a fact that we have had conversations previously in which I also told him how you're suppose to dunk a baby underwater. UGH! MEN!! OPEN YOUR EARS!!! So typical...only listen to the first part of what I'm saying then all you hear is "blah blah blah" LOL SO ANNOYING!!

So I'm thinking first you try to drown our baby THEN you try to suffocate him by blowing in his face so he can't breathe?!!! Needless to say we DID NOT attempt to dunk him again. Aj handed Ray over to me because I had his towel and he was kind of freaking out and he had all this snot that came out of his nose all over his face. Poor kid. I felt so bad. I should have done it myself. We walked back to our towels right as it was starting to sprinkle so we got our things and walked to the car. We were only there for about 15-20 min. Just long enough to traumatize baby....and me.

To any new mommies out there or future mommies who plan on one day dunking their baby underwater take this as a cautionary tale....don't trust your husband to dunk you baby for the first time unless you write him out directions and make sure he has them memorized.

This whole mom thing is going to be the death of me someday I just know it. I am constantly worried about my little. I just didn't think I had to worry about his daddy being the one hurting him! hahaha ahhh you live and you learn right? I love my (deaf) husband and I love my little Ray.

US.

My Boys :)

I LOVE them SO MUCH.

Right before THE DUNK.

They both have crazy windblown hair and seriously I can't get enough of that cute little baby bum!

PS. Yes I realize I still have not blogged the birth story. It's coming......I promise...haha

Warning: This post is me throwing my own PITY PARTY.

I totally had a baby. Popped that sucker right out! haha j/k but really I had my baby boy. He is perfect. I'm lovin on him everyday and completely obsessed with his tiny little face! But I didn't come here to talk about that just yet. Although I really should blog his birth story already before I forget all the details...who am I kidding I already have forgot some I'm sure of it...I have the worst memory. But I promise that will be my next post.

I came here today to say I HATE weddings. They are ruining my life. Well first off I hated my wedding. Now other peoples weddings are interfering with my life and making me hate weddings altogether. Marriage is a wonderful, beautiful, joyous time and it should be celebrated.....just not when I have things going on. hahaha. But really. First Aj and I had planned to bless our son in October because Aj's family wanted to come out for it so we planned it months in advance before he was even born. We chose the second week of October because thats fast Sunday and that's when all his family can come out. My older sister Melissa was planning on coming out for the blessing because she flies for free and I love having family here and was super excited for her to be here for my baby's blessing. BUT THEN.........her sister in law decided to change the date of her wedding to that weekend. (insert a sad annoyed face here) And then my dad is talking about how he wants to go to that wedding also..... (insert just an annoyed face here) O well right? We'll have other children for them to celebrate with us. So not that big of a deal, just a real bummer. 

On to the next....

I have literally been in college for 10 years! When I graduate IN DECEMBER I will finally complete the goal I never really felt was a choice for me. It wasn't a choice because ever since I can remember my parents, and more so my father, have stressed the importance of education. And every time I stopped going to school or took a loooooooong break (and there were many...hello it's taken me 10 years!) my parents and especially my dad would pressure me to finish. So I went back to school more seriously last year and decided it was time to just finish it so I could put that accomplishment under my belt and so that my mom and dad could feel like all their money wasn't wasted the past several years and so they couldn't nag me about never finishing college anymore.....and also be proud of me of course. So I graduate in December. I've been telling everyone that for this whole year. BUT THEN.......my cousin decides to get married....in december........in Tonga......on the 12th. Graduation is on the 14th! (I am really happy and excited that my cousin has found the love of her life and that they are getting married and I wish them nothing but happiness) So the reason why this wedding is ruining my life is because apparently my dad HAS to go to the wedding. He is going and my little sister Mele is also going because she is going to be in the line. 

I understand it's a tongan cultural thing and he needs to go............but I can't help but feel a little bit like jealous? I don't know it's like actions speak louder than words right? So to me it's reading a little like: my cousin is more important than me, his own daughter. And on top of that he's the one who has stressed how important getting an education is and my education has literally been 10 years in the making....and now he's going to miss the crowning moment? It makes me feel a little like it's not as important as he's been saying all along. It also makes me feel like: why am I even graduating if the one person I feel like I've been doing it mostly for isn't even going to be there to support me? I am seriously thinking about not even walking. What's the point? Why celebrate it when I feel like it's being pushed aside as if it's not even important? To my parents face I've acted as if it wasn't as big of a deal to me as I feel it actually is. I've put on a tough face and pretended not to care so much in front of them. .....but I'll admit it made me cry. I can't even explain how I feel right now, I feel like I'm not doing a good job of getting my thoughts and feelings out right now. UGH. I'm annoyed.

I never wanted to graduate and now I'm wondering why I am. I hate school and now I hate weddings. 

This is my official pity party.

Closer.

We are so close to having this baby! I had a doctors appointment on Thursday and we found out I'm dilated to 3 cm and my doctor said she wouldn't be surprised if I naturally went into labor within the week. It's a good thing too because the last 2 weeks have been the hardest for me with getting really uncomfortable and not liking being pregnant at all. I just feel so heavy all the time too. I'm ready to shed some weight! I even had a dream the other night where my belly was so stretched out (which is exactly how it feels lately) that the top part just kind of came off and fell away. Then my baby was just hanging out of my belly with his arms out just chillin like a kangaroo. And I was walking around like a momma kangaroo carrying her baby in a pouch. But I was really freaking out in my dream, also because my baby looked like an alien. Pregnancy dreams.......I can do without those.

I started school again this past week. I'm so lucky to only have one class this term and it happens to be an elementary art methods class that is pretty easy. So it's really a blessing to be able to not have to worry too much about school and grades while trying to adjust to having a new baby. I think it will still be challenging, but it could be a lot worse if I had to take more or harder classes so I feel pretty good about being able to finish this summer semester. AJ wants me to go into labor....like NOW, but practical me wants him to wait until after class on thursday night so that I can have him over the weekend and be back to class the following week without having to miss out on class or anything. I'm a nerd and I just hate missing class. It makes me feel like I missed out on something and won't be able to catch up! Realist me knows I can't pick and choose when he will actually come so I'm trying to just not think about how birth will affect school and whatever happens happens. haha. We are still the worst soon to be parents and aren't prepared as much as we should be. I haven't even packed a hospital bag yet! At least I can claim I'm true to myself and a procrastinator till the end....until I kick myself in the butt and get mad that I have nothing to wear in the hospital or that my baby has to go home naked...haha but that won't happen, I promise to pack a hospital bag tonight when we go back to Laie. (Were in Pearl City...as usual, which is part of the reason we aren't prepared, it's hard to get ready when you're living in two places and half your stuff is one place and the rest at the other.)

Here's my 39 weeks pic. Next time you hear from me I'll probably have a baby!

My face says it all. Who's done being pregnant?....ME!

You know what sucks?

When your husband resets the laptop that has ALL your school work (homework/papers/lessonplans) from the last 3 semesters on it and the copies of our tax returns from last year.....and nothing was backed up. I had a lot more to say about this a few days ago right after it happened, but I'm not as mad anymore and have cooled off. I can get really mad and be really mean and my mouth just goes off. "Quick to anger," is the term I believe. Which just reminds me how imperfect I am. I have not mastered myself and could not control my feelings of rage lol. Seriously though I need to work on that because he's not the only one who makes mistakes (although that was a BIG mistake) and I wouldn't want him to treat me the way I treated him when the whole thing happened. Self mastery....something I need to work on and also choosing my words better. I should not repeatedly be telling my husband how stupid he is just because I'm thinking in the moment and what he DID might have been stupid, but he....he is NOT stupid...far from stupid actually, I think he's actually very smart. He knows a lot of things. And honestly who hasn't DONE a stupid thing once or twice or 2000 times in their life? People make mistakes, it doesn't mean they are stupid. I know words can hurt feelings and next time I need to remind myself to just shut up because it can't be taken back.

Need to work on THIS.

BLOBLOBLAW

This post doesn't really have a purpose or flow very well, it is just random spouting out of some things I have on my mind.

Tv is turning me into a blob. Blobloblaw. (haha Arrested Development anyone? Bob Loblaw. anyone? Well I recommend it, one word: hilarious. And I hear they are making it again.) But that's exactly what I feel like...A BLOB. My belly is at maximum capacity, at least according to me. I'm pretty sure I was having contractions all last night and early this morning. It was horrible, it was really the first time I felt like I actually HATED being pregnant. I'm starting to get to the uncomfortable stage where no matter what I do I can't get into a comfy position. I feel like this baby is too big already and any little move he makes has me saying "Owwwww". All I gotta say is this baby better come soon. I'm due the 26th...which is in 2 weeks and 4 days. Yes I'm counting down. Technically I could blow at any time now, and I'm terrified....at least about the labor part and with feeling so unprepared, but ready or not right?

Here is a picture that me and my friend, Chelsea created when I first found out and told her I was pregnant. We made it using one of those websites that's suppose to meld you and your partners faces together to see what you're future baby might look like.

It comes into focus if you squint.

So I don't think it looks like me or AJ but at least it looks like a baby haha...I'm starting to get really curious to know what our spawn will actually look like. Just got to wait a little bit longer to find out!

Today I read something really good. I can't repeat it back because I'd rather it be written word for word and I don't have it right in front of me, but I read it in this months Ensign. It touched me personally and I'm glad I took the time to read the Ensign instead of brainlessly watch a tv show..(don't worry I did plenty of that AFTER). I'm glad my parents have raised me to know where to look to when I need to be uplifted. (I have been thinking a lot lately about what kind of parent I'll be and what I need to change to be a good example to my future family and children, I feel inadequate and nervous about it, but I know I can do it) And I love that we have so much technology that I can have access to those things at the tips of my fingers whenever I need them. Sometimes I like to go to lds.org and read talks on whatever I'm curious about, I just type it into the search and pick out a few talks and read them hoping to find inspiration, which I ALWAYS do. The Lord never fails, he is always there. And on that note, I think this is a good place to end.